"The rule on the subject of letters was in your bedroom."
"I know."
"You had read the rules?"
"That is true; but they did not make any impression on me; I did not
remember any of them."
"You must tell me exactly what occurred; also on what dates you posted
the letters."
Gradually, piece by piece, the Baroness got the information from me. My
conduct seemed to grow blacker and blacker in my own eyes. The Baroness
evidently thought very badly of me. After a time she said:
"I shall be forced to make a distinction between you and the other
girls. It must be known amongst the English girls--and we have six or
seven in this establishment--that their letters will still be unread,
that their correspondence will still be unmolested, with the exception
of the correspondence and letters of one girl--Rachel Grant. In future
you must post every letter in the box in the hall, and each letter you
receive must be first of all opened and read by me before it is handed
to you. That is your just punishment. I could do much more severe
things, but I will to a certain extent overlook your inexperience."
I left the room feeling as though the very floor would open to receive
me. I went upstairs with my cheeks on fire. How was I to live? How
was I to endure this?
Presently Mademoiselle Wrex followed me.
"Oh mademoiselle, I cannot bear this!" I exclaimed. "I must go away."
"Go away?" she said.
"Yes; how can I bear to stay at the school when I am disgraced?"
"But your punishment is not very great," said the French teacher.
"But to let the others know, and to have my freedom as an English girl
taken away from me!"
"It will be restored again, I am sure, if you bear your punishment with
meekness," said Mademoiselle; "but if you rebel and make a fuss the
Baroness will keep up her indignation."
"And will she tell my people at home?"
"I do not think she will do that if you bear your punishment with all
due patience. You did wrong."
"I did wrong, but not such a dreadful sin as you give me credit for. I
did wrong in ignorance. There is a great, great difference between
doing a thing you know is wrong and doing a thing that is wrong without
knowing it."
A slight smile played round the lips of Mademoiselle. She was, as a
rule, kindly; but she could not quite understand my nice distinction.
"The effect is the same," she said. "Do you not know that for a young
lady in this school to have a correspondence with a schoolboy, as the
Comtesse Riki has done, is quite scandalous? It would ruin the school.
The Comtesse must be made an example of."
"Oh, what are they going to do with her, poor thing?"
"She will not be dismissed; that would be too disgraceful; but she is
for a whole week to be confined to her own room, and no girl in the
school will be allowed to speak to her. At the end of that time she
will be restored to a certain amount of liberty; but her actions will be
most carefully watched."
"And Heinrich?" I said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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