I went away, and Miss Donnithorne still continued to sit by the fire.
Could I believe my own ears? I thought I heard her sigh when I got into
the hall, and then I heard her laugh. I felt half-inclined to be
offended; I was certainly very much puzzled. Truly my cheeks were red
now. I looked at myself in the glass. No, I was not pretty. I saw at
once now why people called me Dumps. It is a great trial for a girl
when her nose is half an inch too short, and her eyes are too small, and
her mouth a trifle too broad, and she has no special complexion and no
special look of intelligence, and no wonderfully thick hair, and has no
beautiful shades of colouring--when she is all made up of drabs and
greys, and her nose is decidedly podgy, and her cheeks inclined to be
too fat--and yet when all the time the poor girl has a feverish desire
in her soul to be beautiful, when she thinks more of beauty of feature
and beauty of form, and beauty, in fact, of every sort, than of anything
else in the world. It was a girl with that sort of exterior who now
looked into the round glass. It was an old-fashioned glass, but a very
good one, and I, Dumps, could see myself quite distinctly, and knew at
last that it was fit and right that I should have the name. It was
absurd to call a creature like me Rachel. Was not the first Rachel
always spoken of as one of the most beautiful women in all the world?
Why should I dare to take that sacred name? Oh yes, I was Dumps. I
would not be offended any longer when I was called by it. My figure
very much matched my face, for it was squat and decidedly short for my
age. In the hideous red blouse, and with that brown skirt, I looked my
very worst. I was glad to take them off. Talk of heat and weight! I
knew at last what it was to be too hot and to have too much to carry.
I was delighted to be in my little, worn-out, but well-accustomed-to
garments, and I ran down to Miss Donnithorne, feeling as though I, like
Christian, had got rid of a heavy burden.
PART ONE, CHAPTER SIX.
AT HEDGEROW HOUSE.
We took a long walk. We went right through Chelmsford, and I was
enchanted with the appearance of that gay little country town. Then we
got out into the country, where the snow lay in all its virgin purity.
We walked fast, and I felt the cold, delicious air stinging my cheeks.
I felt a sense of exhilaration, which Miss Donnithorne told me the snow
generally gives to people.
"It makes the air lighter," she said; "and besides, there is so much
ammonia in it."
I did not understand what she meant, but then I did not want to
understand. I was happy; I was having a good time. I liked her better
each moment.
We got back to the little cottage in time for tea, which we had cosily
in the sitting-room with the stuffed birds and animals.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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