Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
She looked up at Geraldine with a sudden fantastic hope that she would
see her laughing too; but the face presented to her was hostile and
heavy. At sight of it she felt the laughter begin to shake her
terrifyingly; and checked it with a gasp.
Geraldine said:
‘I suppose you will deny having anything to do with this?’
‘Oh, deny it--of course I do,’ said Judith with weary contempt.
‘Deny having insinuated--suggested----’ she began loudly.
‘I have never bothered to mention your name to anyone. Why should I?
It’s nothing to do with me.’
‘No,’ she said, her face and voice rousing a little from their heavy
deliberate monotony. ‘It’s nothing to do with you.’ She thought a moment
and added slowly: ‘Then there’s some misunderstanding.’
‘Yes, some misunderstanding. Why go on treating it as if it were
important?’
After a silence she said:
‘Anything, however slight, that comes between me and Jennifer is
important.’
Judith felt herself start to tremble again. Those slow words rang a doom
for her; and her spurious advantage was at an end.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said uncertainly, ‘if I have come between you and
Jennifer.’
‘Not _you_,’ she said. (Yes, she was a stupid or a cruel woman.) ‘But I
know what people’s mischievous tongues can do, and I wanted to get to
the bottom of it before I go away. Just to assure myself that I’m not
leaving her to face anything--unpleasant or distressing.’
‘Ah, so you realize how easily she’s influenced.’
That was it then: the woman was afraid. She had given herself away at
last: she knew the terrible insecurity of loving Jennifer. Judith felt a
quiver of new emotion dart through her: it seemed like a faint pity.
‘I don’t want her bothered,’ said Geraldine aggressively. ‘I loathe this
interfering.’
‘You don’t quite understand,’ said Judith in a voice of calm
explanation, ‘how much Jennifer means to some people--a lot of people
here. They love her. Naturally they resent it a little when somebody
else comes in and claims all her attention. They miss her. Isn’t it
natural? And then you see, since you’ve been here I believe she’s been
getting into awful trouble for neglecting her work. I heard one of them
say so a day or two ago--and another one said it was time someone spoke
to her or she’d be sent down. So I daresay that’s what happened:
somebody tried to give her a sort of warning. Of course it was silly:
but then, as you say, girls are silly. It was meant kindly.’ She paused,
feeling a kind of faintness, took a deep sighing breath and continued:
‘If my name was brought into it, it was because I have had--I think--a
certain amount of influence with Jennifer. She and I were a good deal
together at one time. But lately I have been working very hard. They
have no business at all....’
She felt her voice dwindling and stopped, trembling now uncontrollably.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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