Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
‘I should have thought a bit better of you if you’d come yourself. Do
you generally get other people to do your dirty work for you?’
Judith got up and went towards the door.
‘Where are you going?’ said Geraldine sharply.
‘To Jennifer, to ask her to explain.’
‘You can’t do that.’ The change in her voice and manner was noticeable.
‘Jennifer’s lying down. I left her trying to sleep. She mustn’t be
disturbed.’
‘I can go to Jennifer whenever I like. I can always go to Jennifer. I
don’t ask you whether I am to or not.’
At last this was anger, anger! At last she was able to want to wound, to
cry: ‘I! I! I!’ brutally, aggressively, triumphantly in the face of her
enemy. Pure anger for the first time in life.
‘_Please!_ Listen,’ Geraldine took a few steps towards her. ‘Please,
don’t go now. She’s very much upset. I left her crying.’
Crying--crying? Oh, that was a good thing. It was splendid that Jennifer
should have been made to cry.... And yet ... if this woman had made her
cry--poor Jennifer, darling Jennifer--you would----
The situation seemed suddenly to have become reversed. Judith felt
herself momentarily strong in self-assurance; and Geraldine was
hesitating, as if doubtful what to say.
‘What’s she crying about? It takes a good deal to make Jennifer cry.’
Geraldine shot her a glance and said venomously:
‘Yes. As far as I can make out, one of your charming friends must have
taken a good deal of trouble to make her cry this morning. Anyway she
seemed to have got it into her head that she’s treated somebody, or one
of you, very badly--and that somebody was hurt--_you_ were hurt--because
she’d been neglecting you for me.’
‘How do you know she meant me?’
She was silent, and then said:
‘She was crying a good deal and thoroughly upset and I heard her say
your name. So I went and asked someone where your room was and came
straight. But you were out.’
‘Did she tell you to come?’
‘She didn’t tell me not to.’
‘Then she told you where my room was. She knows you’re here.’
‘I didn’t ask her where your room was. I--found out.’
‘And does she know you’re here?’
‘No.’ She added after a silence. ‘I didn’t come here to be
cross-questioned.’
‘What did you come here for?’
‘Just to tell you we care _that_’--she snapped her fingers--‘for your
mean little jealousies.’
‘Oh, it seems scarcely worth coming, just for that. It wasn’t worth
losing your temper over, was it? Little jealousies are so common--in a
female institution. I do think you over-estimate their importance. It
isn’t as if you cared what we said, because you’ve just told me you
don’t--either of you.’
‘And,’ she said, raising her voice angrily; ‘_and_ to tell you I
consider you owe me an apology--me and Jennifer.’
‘Oh!’ Judith buried her face in her hands and laughed. ‘Oh! that’s very
funny.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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