Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
* * * * *
That afternoon Martin fished for trout in the stream, and she sat on the
bank and read a page of her book now and then; and sometimes watched
him; and mostly dreamed.
His small-boyish absorption was amusing and rather appealing. He was
immensely happy, moving along the bank in cautious excited silence,
casting deftly up and down stream. If he were to be disturbed or upset
in his pursuit, he would say ‘Ach!’ and swear, and flush all over his
face, just as he had in the old days. Even if she were the disturber, it
would make no difference. She knew better than to interfere, or to speak
except when spoken to, and then briefly and to the point. That was in
his eyes one of her most admirable qualities. He loved to have her
beside him, behaving nicely and looking pretty, shewing interest, and
smiling when it was seemly.
By the constant upward curve of his lips and by occasional dwelling
glances, she knew he had thrown off the memory of this morning’s
unnatural emotional perplexities, and was content.
If only their marriage could be a perpetual sitting on a green bank by a
stream, watching him tolerantly, almost tenderly, with quiet pleasure in
his bodily magnificence, with a half-contemptuous smile for his
happiness, and yet with comfort in the knowledge of it, and in the
knowledge that her mere presence was sufficient for it, while her mind
was off on its own, worlds removed from him!...
It would be such an immense easing of the burden if only so much
insincerity as was implicit in the acquiescent body was required,
without the lies of the lips and the mind. She on the green bank
always, with leisurely musings, and he moving past her, up and down, not
touching her or demanding or possessing, but fishing for ever: it would
be a pleasant enough marriage. He would look up now and then, smile
approvingly, and say:
‘Still there, Judith?’
‘Still here, Martin.’
‘Quite cheerful?’
‘Quite.’
‘Feeling safe?’
‘Oh, yes.’
‘That’s right. Well, I’ll go on fishing then.’
‘And I’ll go on thinking.’
And he would smile again and send his line whipping and hissing through
the air.
All the rest could go by, remain unsaid, with no falsehood at all.
Perhaps, after years of patient sitting, even Roddy might be forgotten;
or transformed into an object for idle pleasurable regrets.
In the midst of these speculations, Martin came back and threw himself
down beside her.
‘No luck, Martin?’
‘Not a nibble.... I don’t care. I’d rather talk to you.’ He gazed
lovingly at her and said:
‘What are you thinking of?’
She clenched her hands; then answered softly:
‘_ ... of nothing ...
When I muse thus I sleep._’
He turned her face towards him with a hand beneath her chin, and gently
kissed her lips.
* * * * *
‘Oh, Judith, I’ll try to make you happy.’
‘And I’ll try to make you happy, Martin.’
Perhaps in time.... Perhaps in time even Roddy....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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