Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
‘You’re to wear it,’ she said quietly. ‘You’ll catch cold,’ and she
wound it round his neck again, while he submitted and made faces at her,
his eyes laughing into hers, like a child coaxing an elder to smiles.
Watching him, Judith thought:
‘Are you conceited and spoilt?’
All that gaiety and proud indifference, all that unconscious-seeming
charm, that confident chatter--all might be the product of a complete
self-consciousness. Surely he must look in the glass and adore his own
reflection. She remembered her old dream of marrying him, and thought
with a vast sorrowful prophetic sense of the many people who would yearn
to him silently for love, while he went on his way, wanting none of
them.
Against the dusk, his head, his face shone as if palely lit.
Narrowly she watched him; but there was no sign for her: all that
brilliance of expression glancing and pausing around him, and nothing
for her beyond a light smile or two, a casual appreciation of her
temporary uses. He and Mariella had scarcely once said: ‘Do you
remember?’ If they still cherished any of the past she was not in it. It
was strange to think of such indifference, when they, with the other
three, were all the pattern, all the colour and richness that had ever
come into life.
In the dying light their mystery fell over them again, and they were as
unattainable as ever. If only with the rare quality of their physical
appearance they must always enslave her; and she felt worn out with the
stress of them.
‘To-morrow,’ said Charlie, ‘we’ll bring Roddy.’
‘Yes. Come on,’ said Mariella. ‘We must hurry for our train.’
They tramped in silence across the cold solitude of the marsh, and the
wind came after them, keen and menacing. When they arrived at the
river’s edge, Charlie stood still, and looked across, saying dreamily:
‘There’s a light in the old house. I suppose that’s the caretaker
person. We might look in to-morrow and surprise her. Doesn’t it look
lonely?... I wish we would live there again. Where’s your house, Judith?
I thought it was next door.’
‘So it is, but the trees hide it.’
‘Oh yes, I’d forgotten.’
Then she ferried them across the river in the punt, and parted from them
on the other side, where the lane to the station branched off.
‘Well, see you to-morrow.’
Julian looked up at the sky.
‘I believe it’s thawing,’ he said. ‘I believe it’ll rain in the night.’
‘Rot!’ said Charlie. ‘Why--feel the ground.’
‘Yes, but the air’s milder. And look at the sky.’
To the east and north the frosty stars pointed their darts; but in the
smoky, tumultuous west, black clouds devoured the last of the sun.
Panic seized Judith, and she hated Julian, wanted to strike him.
‘Rot! that doesn’t mean anything,’ said Charlie uneasily.
‘And listen to the wind.’
The wind was in the treetops, full and relentless, and driving the
clouds.
‘Oh, shut up!’ said Charlie. ‘Can’t there be a wind without a thaw? And
come on, can’t you, or we’ll miss our train.’
‘Good-night then.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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