Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
It was clear from her voice she had been alert at the sound of the known
footsteps. She raised a pallid face that tried for a moment to begrudge
its gladness and preserve a stiffness.
‘Now, Mabel, I’m come to put you to bed. I like all your talk of looking
after _me_. It’s you who need it. What do you suppose you’ll feel like
to-morrow if you work any more? Come on now.’
That was the way she loved to be talked to. Judith filled her hot-water
bottle and made cocoa, while with laborious modesty she donned her
flannel nightdress with its feather-stitched collar; and pouted coyly
and happily, like any other girl, because Judith was such a dragon.
Then she leaned back in her chair with the work-lines in her face
smoothing out, and yawned contentedly and talked of little intimate
things, giving them to Judith without reserve, as Judith gave hers to
Jennifer--suddenly, pitifully like any other girl.
These were her happy compensating moments: they made her think for a
while that the friendship was rare and firm.
How easy it was, thought Judith, to permit her to enjoy your incongruous
presence; to step right into her world and close the gates on your own
so fast that no chill air from it might breathe against her security!
Alone with her like this, no lapse of taste on her part ruffled the
nerves. You accepted her and let her reveal herself; and she was, after
all, interesting, human, gentle, and simple. There was nothing--this
time you must remember--nothing grotesque or ridiculous to report to
Jennifer afterwards, hatefully betraying and mocking....
She spoke of her life in the narrow church-bound village home; her
future: she would teach, and so have her own little independent place in
the world. She didn’t think she was the marrying sort; but you never
knew. Independence was what she craved: to support herself and be
beholden to no one. Only she must pass well: (and her eyes would wander
haggardly to the books)--It all depended on her health--she’d never
enjoyed very good health. She always thought if she felt better she
wouldn’t forget so. It made work very hard. Freda had always been the
strong one. Everything came easy to Freda. Everyone admired and petted
her: she was getting so spoilt, and extravagant too. She wouldn’t go so
far as to say she and Freda had much in common, but you couldn’t help
but love her in spite of all her naughtiness. And the quick way she had
of answering back! She recited some of Freda’s quick answers, giggling
like any other girl.
There was a curate who had coached her in Greek and Latin. He was a
wonderful man, a real saint: not like any one else at all, young, a
beautiful face and such eyes. Once he had come to tea with her, and they
had had a wonderful talk, just the two of them. Freda had been out. It
really seemed as if he looked on her as a friend. She hoped so.... He
had helped her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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