_She chuckled drily. "I'm afraid these things do happen, and in this
case, you're it, my dear. Make the best of it."_
_But I wouldn't; I refused to--for a while. I would not feast on the
blood of the living. Something within me fought. For a time._
_Then, the awful hunger began. The tearing pangs of hunger that ordinary
food wouldn't arrest. I fought it as long as I could. I lost._
_First it was small animals; animals that I loved. It was my life or
theirs. Then there was a little girl; a dear little creature who might
have been my child under different circumstances._
_After the episode of the little girl, Eve left me. She had no further
use for me; she had wanted the child, too, and I had got it. I was now
competition to be shunned. I was alone once again alone and thoroughly
miserable. I couldn't understand myself, my motives, so how could I
expect someone else to understand?_
_I only knew what I was; nor could I rationalize on why I had become
this way. I could only presume it had happened to others equally as
innocent as myself of wrong-doing. In the daytime, when I was like
others, I reproached myself; goodness knows I loathed myself and what I
had to do in order to "live." I wished I might really die, for I was
tired--so frightfully tired and sick of it all. But I knew of no way to
accomplish this, so I had to bear it all, fasting until my voracious,
disgusting appetites got the better of me._
_I decided there must be some information on my kind, particularly in
this area where vampire legends are rife, so I took to haunting reading
rooms. It was there I met Maria. She told me, after we knew each other
better, that she was doing graduate work in regional superstitions and
had decided that her thesis would treat of the history of vampirism. She
found it terribly amusing, but at the same time frightening: Didn't I? I
fear I saw nothing laughable about it, but I held my peace. Why, I could
have done a thesis for her that would have driven some mild-mannered
prof completely out of his mind! I kept my knowledge to myself, though;
I didn't want to scare Maria._
_She was like a flash of sunshine in a darkened room. She made each day
worth living. For the first time the hunger pangs ceased. Ceased for one
week, then two. I was certain I was cured. Perhaps, I thought, the whole
thing was just a dream and I am finally awake._
_I felt then I had the right to tell her of my love. She looked
infinitely sad. She wasn't certain, she said. She knew she was awfully
fond of me, but she was confused. She had just come away from the
States, trying to make up her mind about someone dear, whom she didn't
want to hurt, and she wanted a breather. I said I would wait up to and
through eternity, if she wished._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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