Except for the clicking of the machine, there was a silence. The voice
of the machine, feminine again, seemed confused when it spoke. "I cannot
correlate years, Smith of Earth. How old are you?"
It wasn't an ordeal, really, but Smith felt more uncomfortable every
moment. Was the machine making fun of him? If it were, then it had an
ally in the crowd, because the man who had tittered was laughing again,
the green shock of hair on his head bobbing up and down.
"Earthsmith doesn't even know how old he is. Imagine."
The machine, which was more feminine than not, asked Smith how far the
planet Earth was from its primary, and what the orbital speed of the
planet was. Smith told her, but again the terminology was not capable of
correlation.
"Unclassified as to age, Smith. It's not important. I wonder, are you
dominant or receptive?"
"I'm a man. Male. Dom--"
"That doesn't matter. Smith, tell me, how long has it been since anyone
from the planet Earth has attended the school?"
Smith said he didn't know, but, to his knowledge, no one from Earth had
ever been here. "We don't get around much any more. It's not that we
can't. We just go and then we don't like it, so we come back to Earth."
"Well, from the looks of you I would say you are a receptive. Very
definitely receptive, Smith." Given sufficient data, the registrar could
not be wrong. Given sufficient data the registrar could tell you
anything you wanted to know, provided the answer could be arrived at
from the data itself. "The male and female distinction no longer holds,
of course. On some planets the female is dominant, on some she's not.
It's generally according to the time of colonization, Smith. When was
Earth colonized?"
"It wasn't."
"What do you mean, it wasn't?"
"We were always there. We colonized the rest of the galaxy. Long ago."
The registrar clicked furiously, expressed itself still more femininely
this time. "Oh, that planet! You certainly are the first, Smith. The
very first here at the school. Room 4027, dominant companion." Neuter
voice again. "That's all, Smith of Earth. Next."
The vaguely purple-skinned man stood before the registrar, winked at the
flashing lights. "You know, now I can see what they mean when we're told
of a missing link in the chain between man and animal. Old
Earthsmith...."
"Name?" said the machine.
The man pointed at Smith, shook with silent laughter. The back of
Smith's head, which could not properly be called bald because he had
never had any hair on it, was very red.
"Name's Jorak."
"Planet?" demanded the fully neuter machine.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account