It was the Geiger Grade, a mile and a half from the summit: Black as your hat was the night, and never a star in the heavens. Thundering down the grade, the gravel and stones we sent flying Over the precipice side,--a thousand feet plumb to the bottom. Half-way down the grade I felt, sir, a thrilling and creaking, Then a lurch to one side, as we hung on the bank of the canon; Then, looking up the road, I saw, in the distance behind me, The off hind wheel of the coach just loosed from its axle, and following. One glance alone I gave, then gathered together my ribbons, Shouted, and flung them, outspread, on the straining necks of my cattle; Screamed at the top of my voice, and lashed the air in my frenzy, While down the Geiger Grade, on _three_ wheels, the vehicle thundered. Speed was our only chance, when again came the ominous rattle: Crack, and another wheel slipped away, and was lost in the darkness. _Two_ only now were left; yet such was our fearful momentum, Upright, erect, and sustained on _two_ wheels, the vehicle thundered. As some huge boulder, unloosed from its rocky shelf on the mountain, Drives before it the hare and the timorous squirrel, far-leaping, So down the Geiger Grade rushed the Pioneer coach, and before it Leaped the wild horses, and shrieked in advance of the danger impending. But to be brief in my tale. Again, ere we came to the level, Slipped from its axle a wheel; so that, to be plain in my statement, A matter of twelve hundred yards or more, as the distance may be, We travelled upon _one_ wheel, until we drove up to the station. Then, sir, we sank in a heap; but, picking myself from the ruins, I heard a noise up the grade; and looking, I saw in the distance The three wheels following still, like moons on the horizon whirling, Till, circling, they gracefully sank on the road at the side of the station. This is my story, sir; a trifle, indeed, I assure you. Much more, perchance, might be said; but I hold him, of all men, most lightly Who swerves from the truth in his tale--No, thank you--Well, since you _are_ pressing, Perhaps I don't care if I do: you may give me the same, Jim,--no sugar." Aspiring Miss de Laine. A Chemical Narrative. Certain facts which serve to explain The physical charms of Miss Addie De Laine, Who, as the common reports obtain, Surpassed in complexion the lily and rose; With a very sweet mouth and a _retrousse_ nose; A figure like Hebe's, or that which revolves In a milliner's window, and partially solves That question which mentor and moralist pains, If grace may exist _minus_ feeling or brains.