New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Romans à clef; Spouses -- Fiction; Women novelists -- Fiction
I remembered the effect upon Eva of this trait in a man whose praise
she very much wanted. We had dined at his apartment; and it was in
the early days when she had been less certain of the reputation of
her books: of their quality she had never experienced a doubt. The
Glidden dinner table was always the quintessence of simplicity. Upon
this occasion a single blossom, in a rare vase, leered insinuatingly
from the centre of the board. “What is it?” we had asked, strangely
attracted. He did not know, himself; he had thought it amusing. It
might be, he speculated, the arrested product of an affair between an
orchid and a tiger lily. Throughout the meal, the flower waved and
nodded as if independent of any outside propulsion, amazingly giving
the impression that from its calyx there burst its own ululation. Eva
had become nervous and excited. She had sat at her host’s right, slim
and shining, proud and rather rare; she might have had some remote
kinship with the blossom that, slim and mocking, elevated its head
above even the rarity of the vase that held it. Possibly Glidden had
seen that his decoration and his guest of honour were in accord; he
might have arranged it; his eyes stared with the same glassiness at Eva
and at the flower.
Eva whispered to me: “I am in terror of his silence! He is like a
hooded falcon. I never know what he truly thinks of my books. Has he
ever told you what he thinks of my work?”
When I am nervous I suspect that I wear my hair too long; it falls over
my forehead into my eyes, and I push at it and feel like swearing. “Ask
him and see,” I suggested crossly.
But she gasped that she was afraid to; she could not bear it, if he
said he did not believe in her; and Spencer Mapes had said, a moment
before--I knew she was trying to stop thinking about what Mapes had
said, because she surmised that the important thing was what he had not
said. Molly Underhill often bragged that we were a peculiar lot; and
sometimes we were afraid of each other, sometimes we were indifferent
to each other, but always we were aware of each other. Molly herself,
while pronouncing upon us, wore a blush like an angry sunset, a blush
that cast her mouth into such shadow that she appeared to have no lips.
Speed being impossible on a New York street, I had time to brood, and
laugh, over the agonies that we had lived through. “He’ll tell me
nothing,” I promised myself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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