New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Romans à clef; Spouses -- Fiction; Women novelists -- Fiction
“My dear Dinah,” he replied smoothly, “you never use the delicate
rapier; do you? Your weapon is the battle-ax.”
I said: “What a friend you are!” I pushed through the crowd in pursuit
of Eva. But she, on her part, searched for Nicholas. I caught her as
she said to him, excitedly, that her brain was on fire, that it burned
the inside of her head. She cried to him: “Do you realize that no one
considers me? Have you ever stopped to think that everyone conspires
to use up my strength?” Had he noticed, she enquired as if it were his
fault, that idiot Molly Underhill holding on to her while she told her
troubles? “People--” she almost raved--“should keep their troubles to
themselves.”
Nicholas was mild about it. “Early to bed, for you. You are working
yourself up.”
With her sudden compunction, she touched his arm. “Poor Nick! It was a
sad day for you, when you married me, wasn’t it?” For a time she stood
quietly, regarding him with kindliness. Then she shrugged. “But you
would do it, you know. All right! That’s that. Find your mother, and we
will go home.”
It was the next day when I heard from Eva the sequel to the evening.
Mrs. Van Suydam had sat erect in the taxi, resisting her natural
fatigue. “We shall have a lovely Christmas, children,” she had remarked
affably. “And I hope it may be a bracing, biting spell of weather, such
as we had--I recall it vividly--the winter Nicholas was born.”
Eva’s interruption had been abrupt. “It will be a Christmas of work,
for me.”
It appears that the elderly lady had protested. Eva had explained
with scant courtesy that she must start in at once on her next
book, whereupon her mother-in-law had called such a course, “in her
condition,” suicidal. “Think of your unborn child,” Mrs. Van Suydam had
persisted, driving Eva--so she told me--frantic with her insistence on
the necessary sublimation of Eva Litchfield to the child. “Don’t push
yourself,” said Mrs. Van Suydam in a voice of stern admonition.
Eva said that she herself spoke through set teeth; she was by now in an
agony of determination. “I’ll beat that dreadful woman if it takes me
years! And that is exactly what I’ve got to do--push myself,” she had
finished in a cry on this her instant response to her own doubts.
The little house was cozy, and Eva’s study heavy with the scent of
the roses that Nicholas kept on her writing-table. They stood looking
at each other. Nicholas smiled, she remembered, but she knew that her
own face was grave. He was still thinking, she assured me, of the
emotion of the day when she had told him that she was going to have a
child. Her hand, however, was at once raised against him. “Wait!” Held
suspended in his recapture of the lovely mood, he did in fact wait. He
was helpless, as are all men, in face of this mystery of the creation
of another human being.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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