New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Romans à clef; Spouses -- Fiction; Women novelists -- Fiction
With the exception of the springing flame in her gaze, she did not
move. She was arrested in any ordinary motion by the violence of her
purpose. “I am not going to have that baby!”
She reported to me: “I saw straight into his mind. It’s easy to see
into a man’s mind when you’ve been married to him.” He was conscious of
his face. He had felt the muscles drawing tightly--drawn back to his
ears, drawn around his nose--drawing his mouth into a new and strange
mouth. In his mind that Eva so easily read there was a crash, as if a
house that he had built had fallen.
She again spoke to him. “You might as well understand, first as last,
that I have no intention of going through with it.” She said she began
walking up and down the room. “I have my work to do. I have my career
to consider. Let other women have children.”
And again she was very sure that she saw into his head, and she was not
moved by what she saw. He looked at her with impersonal wonder; for
this much he had discovered--that she was ugly. But he realized that he
must say something. Eva reminded me that she had told me, upon another
occasion when she had reported one of their scenes, that when he was
exalted he was not under a compulsion to speak. He said, at any rate:
“You would do this--you?”
She said to me: “If you keep your head, and watch--and you are a
novelist--life is dramatic: isn’t it?” What she said to him was: “You
are being melodramatic.”
PART FOUR
[Illustration]
I
There was about the whole thing a sense of swift disaster. Ruin of
all things, temporal and spiritual, seemed close on our heels. And
yet, nothing had actually happened to us. But the air was charged with
vengeance. One found oneself believing implicitly in the Old Testament,
and in a God who was mighty in wrath. In words, on white paper, I am
failing to convey the full weight of this threat as we received it at
the time. Things are never so bad, once they are translated into words;
for words fail of true imputation. If I had seen on the sky, as upon
my return to New York I had almost expected to see, a finger tracing
a curse, I would not have been shakier than I was when, in the chilly
afternoon sunshine, I came from the little house in Eleventh Street
with Eva. This disappointing sunshine glinted across the stoop and
neglected the north windows and warmed nothing.
We were going out for a walk. Eva’s face, above her furs, flower-like
in its delicacy of feature and colouring, was so much more heartening
than the things of which I had been thinking that I smiled at her. “You
are nice, Eva,” I said; “you’re nice!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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