New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Romans à clef; Spouses -- Fiction; Women novelists -- Fiction
With equally savage intent, I threw at the silence which otherwise
might envelop us the statement that I had heard he had been abroad
since his wife’s death. She nodded soberly. She told me that she had
refused to accompany him on his now accomplished pilgrimage. She had
wished him, alone and free from feminine espionage, to plunge into the
mild dissipations suitable to a young gentleman of modest means. That
he had done nothing of the sort, but had immediately plunged into an
orgy more to his liking--had, in fact, submerged himself in the joy
occasioned by his renewed fond acquaintance with the architectural
masterpieces of Europe--she had gathered from his letters. “Not that
his letters are frivolous, Mrs. Avery,” she explained punctiliously;
they had had to do with the surface of his life, she went into it.
I gathered, then, from what she merely hinted at, that behind his
letters was of course what he had not told her; and that the untold had
intimately to do with Eva’s last days neither his mother nor I for a
moment doubted.
“Mrs. Avery, you were unhappily present at the only two portentous
interviews that ever took place between my daughter-in-law and myself.
The stand I took I am satisfied was for my son’s best interests.”
Sharply she inspected my face. Something that she denied by her manner
had shaken her. She did not know how much of what she had said to Eva
had been repeated to her son. She had no way of knowing what her son
would think--what he did in fact think of things he might only guess.
It was with apprehension, therefore, that she had come to meet him
today. Herself incapable of suffering deeply except through her son,
she feared what she might be about to experience through a possible
devastation of his spirit.
She said to me that life had resolved itself into a pattern and she
could almost see where the pattern ran out. She had used to regret
that she was so much older than her son, while now she had reached the
point where it seemed a fortunate thing, for of the two of them she at
least saw that few things happening in life were irremediable. Things
came about, and they all fitted into the design, and the repeat of the
pattern was the next generation, so that there might be said to be a
pattern for each family. And what she did not put into words I read in
her bleak eyes. One brought a son into a world that one was powerless
to order for his security; one stood aside while life buffeted him; and
the most that one got out of it was the realization that life is a ball
tossed from hand to hand, and that hands sometimes slip but the ball
is not always lost. Her lashes were pushed up by her veil in a look of
astonishment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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