New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Romans à clef; Spouses -- Fiction; Women novelists -- Fiction
I waited for her: one always waited for her: and eventually I forgot
that I expected her. It took a great deal to erase Molly Underhill
from a nervous woman’s consciousness. In this case, the great deal was
the voice of the streets, which might be bellowing a threat to the
creature leaning from a balcony thirty storeys above the sidewalk. The
creature chid herself: “What business of yours is the growth of New
York? You’re a small-sized widow-woman who had deliberately come back:
now put up with it.” I had informed Florence Quincy’s guests that I
had come back to discover what my friends were doing, who they were
doing up brown, and what they would do to me. That they were briskly
up to something I did not doubt; New York lends a spurious energy to
those who stay long enough and not too long. We had rushed in from all
sections of the country, to conquer the metropolis if it did not kill
us first. It was growing faster than were we.
Gazing at a sky-line still largely composed of the bare steel ribs
of buildings that tomorrow would be completed, this newest New York
seemed, suddenly and devastatingly, an entity too powerful to cope
with. My head swam from the immensity of this conception of a city.
Here were buildings striving titanically to reach the skies, and a
people battling to preserve an individuality already dwarfed by their
own vast feats of masonry; and this mass of the structures erected
by themselves was so mighty, this monster born of their ambition was
so ruthless in its demands that they keep up with it, that these
constructive pigmies would be terrified if the hurry of their existence
did not sweep them irresistibly on. Seen from the height where I clung
bewildered, they crawled like insects through the streets. The confused
roar of their activities, and of the machinery set in motion by their
intelligence, came up to me in a paean of praise of themselves. But
these people who, thus defeated by their fate, rushed madly along the
sidewalks, these poor things who, believing they held their heads
proudly, lived their apology to the buildings that they themselves
achieved, these victims maddened by their selected careers: even
these beings might occasionally pause and listen to a silence. For at
intervals there fell upon the dreadful bellow of the traffic a hush so
profound that it was as if the hand of God had lifted in warning.
No need for me to remind myself that I was being melodramatic. I was
frightened. Noise, to me, has always seemed a personal threat. My
nerves rasped by the roar, my thoughts confused by the silences falling
with the change of traffic lights, I would not have been surprised
if on the now flaming sky the finger of doom had written. Against
which of us would the finger trace its denunciation? I qualified my
self-arraignment: I was becoming absurd. We could only be hurt by
people and, mainly, by ourselves.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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