New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Romans à clef; Spouses -- Fiction; Women novelists -- Fiction
Afterwards, I regretted having replied; for I gave her away as I saw
her. Also, his smile, which he preserved in its initial spontaneity,
made me doubt my motive: was I pleading for Eva or solely striving to
inflict a scratch on this immovable, taunting man? I told him that he
played upon her weaknesses. I reminded him that, although she did the
ugliest things, she was driven by a strong sense of harmony. Ridden
by some nervous instinct that she had no great amount of time, she
wasted much time in bewailing the world’s misunderstanding of her life:
was it good for her that he should so deliberately add to this game
of cross purposes? Having blurted out these lucidities, and thinking
along lines thus engendered, I stood looking at him in that abstraction
which throws a dulling veil over the sight but with the feeling in my
flesh that a cat gives me. I wondered how he sprung. He would never
do a thing so physically definite as to spring, I told myself. I was
certain that he had not taken the constructive step of endeavouring to
marry Eva, because, possibly, he had not been able to make up his mind
that he could not do without her. His eyes gleamed at me with enjoyment
of my suspicions. Doubtless he still devoted all his spare time to
hanging around her. I should find him, as we had always found him, at
the parties where he knew he would meet her, sitting in sight of her
and directing his remarks at, or to, her. In this fashion he played
the cat with the worried mouse, letting her out with praise, dragging
her back with judiciously placed destructive criticism. He was always
faintly derogatory.
Faint derogation was in his tone when he asked if I had ever met the
man who was now Eva’s husband; his emphasis docketed the marriage with
passing experiments. “She insists she did it for love of him,” he said
with quiet amusement; his amusement was never hearty. James Pomeroy,
who could say coarse things with impunity, once remarked that belly
laughter had never escaped Mapes’ chiselled lips. “But, as you know
and will never admit, there’s a good deal of the snob in our Eva. She
thoroughly believes, poor girl, that what she wants of life is the
social security which every now and then she so deliberately chucks
overboard.”
I said that I had not come back to play blind man’s buff. “I intend to
see her tomorrow; and I’ll find out for myself these equivocal secrets
at which all of you hint. If there’s anything I detest--” I almost
gnashed my teeth at him--“it’s to be played!”
His soft laughter, his “My dear Dinah!” brought me to the point whither
he had wished to lead me: I asked him what he was trying to do about
Eva’s marriage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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