"I wonder what made me go there to-day," he continued thoughtfully. "I
was sitting waiting for you, when suddenly something seemed to tell me
to go into the churchyard--and just inside the gate I saw her
grave--and then I knew. It was just as if a veil had been torn from my
eyes--and still I could not understand. For mother was not old when I
saw her last. I was afraid I was mad, until Isabella explained. And I
thought and thought while I was waiting, and I knew you could not be
Phil, for although you are exactly like my memory of her--in face--she
would be much older. And there had been little things which puzzled
me--which are clear now--about you, I mean. Phil could never have been
content to stay indoors all day as you have--she was always a restless
fairy thing--I never remember her still for long--and you are always
working. Phil never did. Oh, I can find many little differences now.
"I cannot think of her as dead--she was so bright--so happy. She is
dead--and I have lived on all these years. I wonder that I did not
know that she was dead. I ought to have known it, for I loved her so.
And all our love lately has been only a dream--and we were so happy.
Oh, why was I not told the truth? why did you not let me die? It would
have been kinder than to let me live to find out for myself--that she
is gone--and I am all alone."
Philippa slipped down upon her knees beside the couch, and cried
passionately, "Oh no, you are not all alone--we have been so happy--I
have made you happy. Can we not be happy again? I love you so--have
you no love for me?"
She was sobbing now, with her face hidden in her hands.
"I do not know," he said. "It is Phil I love--I loved you when I
thought that you were Phil. My dear, my dear, how can I disentangle
the present from the past?"
"Then do not try," she pleaded, raising her tear-stained face. "Oh,
Francis, let us be happy again; let me make you happy. Think of me as
Phil if you will--but let us dream again the dream we found so sweet.
I love you so, and I will comfort you. Think of all we had planned.
Shall we not grasp our dream and make it real? If I may be your
wife--as you asked me--we will go together to the place where it is
always sunshine and you will find that life can hold brightness. I
will make it bright for you. You remember it was all arranged, we were
to go to the Magical Island--that was what you called it. Do not send
me away from you."
He looked at her pityingly. "My dear," he said gently, "it was only a
dream--a dream and a delusion. It is not possible--you are only a
child, while I am old. You are Jim's girl, and Jim was my boyhood's
friend. Your life is all before you, while mine is near the
ending--and--it is Phil I love."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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