EMMA. 'Allow me to introduce 2nd Lieutenant Torrance of the Royal
Sussex. Father--your son; 2nd Lieutenant Torrance--your father.
Mother--your little Rogie.'
Roger, in uniform, walks in, strung up for the occasion. Or the uniform
comes forward with Roger inside it. He has been a very ordinary nice boy
up to now, dull at his 'books'; by an effort Mr. Torrance had sent him
to an obscure boarding-school, but at sixteen it was evident that an
office was the proper place for Roger. Before the war broke out he was
treasurer of the local lawn tennis club, and his golf handicap was
seven; he carried his little bag daily to and from the city, and his
highest relaxation was giggling with girls or about them. Socially he
had fallen from the standards of the home; even now that he is in his
uniform the hasty might say something clever about 'temporary
gentlemen.'
But there are great ideas buzzing in Roger's head, which would never
have been there save for the war. At present he is chiefly conscious of
his clothes. His mother embraces him with cries of rapture, while Mr.
Torrance surveys him quizzically over the paper; and Emma, rushing to
the piano, which is of such an old-fashioned kind that it can also be
used as a sideboard, plays 'See the Conquering Hero Comes.'
ROGER, in an agony, 'Mater, do stop that chit making an ass of me.'
He must be excused for his 'mater.' That was the sort of school; and his
mother is rather proud of the phrase, though it sometimes makes his
father wince.
MRS. TORRANCE. 'Emma, please, don't. But I'm sure you deserve it, my
darling. Doesn't he, John?'
MR. TORRANCE, missing his chance, 'Hardly yet, you know. Can't be
exactly a conquering hero the first night you put them on, can you,
Roger?'
ROGER, hotly, 'Did I say I was?'
MRS. TORRANCE. 'Oh, John! Do turn round, Rogie. I never did--I never
did!'
EMMA. 'Isn't he a pet!'
ROGER. 'Shut up, Emma.'
MRS. TORRANCE, challenging the world, 'Though I say it who shouldn't--and
yet, why shouldn't I?'
MR. TORRANCE. 'In any case you will--so go ahead, "mater."'
MRS. TORRANCE. 'I knew he would look splendid; but I--of course I
couldn't know that he would look quite so splendid as this.'
ROGER. 'I know I look a bally ass. That is why I was such a time in
coming down.'
MR. TORRANCE. 'We thought we heard you upstairs strutting about.'
MRS. TORRANCE. 'John! Don't mind him, Rogie.'
ROGER, haughtily, 'I don't.'
MR. TORRANCE. 'Oh!'
ROGER. 'But I wasn't strutting.'
MRS. TORRANCE. 'That dreadful sword! No, I would prefer you not to draw
it, dear--not till necessity makes you.'
MR. TORRANCE. 'Come, come, Ellen; that's rather hard lines on the boy.
If he isn't to draw it here, where is he to draw it?'
EMMA, with pride, 'At the Front, father.'
MR. TORRANCE. 'I thought they left them at home nowadays, Roger?'
ROGER. 'Yes, mater; you see, they are a bit in the way.'
MRS. TORRANCE, foolishly, 'Not when you have got used to them.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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