Eclectic Magazine of Foreign Literature, Science, and Art, March 1885 — John Shaqi
Eclectic Magazine of Foreign Literature, Science, and Art, March 1885Various
History
Eclectic Magazine of Foreign Literature, Science, and Art, March 1885
Various
American literature -- Periodicals; Literature -- Periodicals
she, too, had died long, long ago, my mourning for her being one of
the first things I could recollect. And she had no successor. There
was, indeed, a housekeeper and some maids,—the latter of whom I only
saw disappearing at the end of a passage, or whisking out of a room
when one of “the gentlemen” appeared. Mrs. Weir, indeed, I saw nearly
every day; but a curtsey, a smile, a pair of nice round arms which she
caressed while folding them across her ample waist, and a large white
apron, were all I knew of her. This was the only female influence in
the house. The drawing-room I was aware of only as a place of deadly
good order, into which nobody ever entered. It had three long windows
opening on the lawn, and communicated at the upper end, which was
rounded like a great bay, with the conservatory. Sometimes I gazed into
it as a child from without, wondering at the needlework on the chairs,
the screens, the looking-glasses which never reflected any living face.
My father did not like the room, which probably was not wonderful,
though it never occurred to me in those early days to inquire why.
I may say here, though it will probably be disappointing to those
who form a sentimental idea of the capabilities of children, that it
did not occur to me either, in these early days, to make any inquiry
about my mother. There was no room in life, as I knew it, for any such
person; nothing suggested to my mind either the fact that she must
have existed, or that there was need of her in the house. I accepted,
as I believe most children do, the facts of existence, on the basis
with which I had first made acquaintance with them, without question
or remark. As a matter of fact, I was aware that it was rather dull
at home; but neither by comparison with the books I read, nor by the
communications received from my school-fellows, did this seem to me
anything remarkable. And I was possibly somewhat dull too by nature,
for I did not mind. I was fond of reading, and for that there was
unbounded opportunity. I had a little ambition in respect to work,
and that too could be prosecuted undisturbed. When I went to the
university, my society lay almost entirely among men; but by that time
and afterwards, matters had of course greatly changed with me, and
though I recognised women as part of the economy of nature, and did not
indeed by any means dislike or avoid them, yet the idea of connecting
them at all with my own home never entered into my head. That continued
to be as it had always been, when at intervals I descended upon the
cool, grave, colorless place, in the midst of my traffic with the
world; always very still, well-ordered, serious—the cooking very good,
the comfort perfect—old Morphew, the butler, a little older (but very
little older, perhaps on the whole less old, since in my childhood I
had thought him a kind of Methuselah), and Mrs. Weir, less active,
covering up her arms in sleeves, but folding and caressing them just
as always.
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