"I will; but you must help yourself. You do not need to change your
nature. Alas for you, if you did! I am old enough to know how easy that
is to say, and how hard to do. You only need to shake off something
foreign to yourself that has taken possession of you. There is goodness
in you, only you have forgotten it, wilfully forgotten and ridiculed
it, and prided yourself on your sharpness of tongue. Have done with all
pride and ambition. Where is no oneness of heart is a continual wearing
upon each other."
The little man's figure dilated, and his voice gathered strength as he
laid bare before Annele her false pride and her hard-heartedness
towards Franzl. Annele's eyes flashed at the mention of Franzl.
So the secret was out. It was she, the thievish, hypocritical old
woman, who had brought this upon her, and turned all against her. No
cat ever mangled a mouse with greater pleasure than Annele now pulled
to pieces old Franzl.
"If I could but have her once in my clutches!" she snarled.
The minister waited till her fury had spent itself. "You make yourself
out to be wicked and vindictive," he said; "but I still maintain you
are not so at heart."
Then Annele cried to think she should be so sadly changed; it was not
like her to be so angry. It was all because she had nothing to do; was
not allowed to be earning anything. She was not made to keep house for
a petty clockmaker; she was made to be a landlady. If the minister
would only help her to be landlady, she promised he should never see
another spark of anger or cruelty in her.
The minister admitted that she had all the requisite qualities for a
landlady, and promised to do everything in his power to make her one;
but implored her, as she kissed his hands in gratitude, not to trust
for her improvement to any external circumstances.
"You are not yet subdued by your grief and humiliation. Your pride is
your sin, the cause of unhappiness to you and yours. God forbid you
should need the loss of husband or children to bring you to your better
self!"
Annele's seat was opposite the mirror, and as she caught the reflection
of her face in the glass there seemed to be a cobweb floating before
it. She passed her hand several times across her face.
The minister got up to go, but Annele begged him to sit with her a
little longer; she could think better when he was by.
The two sat in silence. No sound was heard except the ticking of the
clocks. Annele's lips moved, but no voice came from them. She kissed
his hand devoutly when he at last departed, and he said: "If you feel
yourself worthy, if your heart is softened, really softened, come to
the communion to-morrow. God bless you!"
She wished to accompany him part of the way. "No courtesies now," he
said; "be first pure and humble in heart. Judge not, that ye be not
judged, says the Saviour. Judge yourself; look into your own heart.
Accustom yourself to sit quiet and think."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account