Edith and John: A Story of PittsburghFarquhar, Franklin Smith
General
Edith and John: A Story of Pittsburgh
Farquhar, Franklin Smith
Pittsburgh (Pa.) -- Fiction
When all was in readiness and the band had struck up a softly
insinuating waltz, Mr. and Mrs. Cobb wheeled out on the floor and glided
around the room with the agility of two sixteen-year-olds. Mr. and Mrs.
Jarney came after them, stately and graceful in their evolutions. Then
came the ghost--Monroe--looking like a piece of burning asbestos, as a
result of the wine, with his arm around the waist of Miss Edith. Then
came young Cobb, whispering words of foolishness into the ear of Miss
Barton, as they went round and round in a delirious whirl--to him. Then
came all the other ladies and gentlemen, the latter suffering wondrously
in the advanced stage of booziness. No, we will not cast all the shame
upon the men in their journey of giddiness, for some of the bewitching
woman, ah, and even unbewitching, too, presumed it their blessed
privilege to partake of a little of the tonic of joy, as an equalizer to
the wabbling motions of their husbands or friends.
Number after number, in this wise, was pulled off, each time the bibbers
adding more and more wine as a wash down after each exhausting
exhibition. So in consequence, after awhile, man after man began to fall
by the wayside, and call feebly upon the good Samaritan: Bromo-seltzer,
or bromo-something else: to keep them in condition to continue the mad
seance. But the little imp Wine, once he secrets himself in the
corpuscles of the blood, is a pretty difficult being to placate in so
short a time. Not satisfied was he in laying hold of the faultless
gentlemen in spike-tailed coats and immaculate bosoms, sparkling with
all the iridescence of the purchasing power of money, but he sought out
some of the decolleted dames and gauzyed damsels, and enveloped them in
his opiatic arms. Even Mr. and Mrs. Cobb were not spared from his
envelopment; for, after the fourth set, they became so maudlin in their
hilarity that the sober servants were called upon to lead them out of
the ballroom, from which they went, in a great state of regal debility,
into the seclusion of their own bedchamber, there to sleep away their
Thanksgiving potation.
And it was not long till every corner in the house had a sleeper
languishing in the happy shades of somnolence. Mr. Monroe, the astute
ghost of quietness, after cavorting for a considerable time like a nanny
goat in a field of crimson clover, was among the first to succumb to the
silencing influence of the giver of potency, and disappeared, like a
settling stone, into a whirlpool of revelry. And young Jasper Cobb, the
gay and handsome son of the Thanksgiving father and mother, after
cutting capers that would put to ignominious flight a colored gen'man at
a cake walk, gave up the contest at last and became numbered among the
recumbent forms that rested, like so many babes in the woods, along the
walls.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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