Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
the body out she arose from her bed and through the half-closed shutters
watched the funeral procession as it moved up the road, to the top of
Schuyler Hill, where the open grave was waiting for all that was mortal
of Abelard Lyle. Heloise could not pray then, her heart was so hard and
rebellious, and ached so with a sense of actual pain, and loss, and a
horrid fear of what might be in the future; and once when this fear got
the mastery of her she arose, and going to her private drawer, where she
kept her hidden treasures, took from it a box, in which she sought for
and found, as she supposed, the instrument which was to help her in the
hour of need, when she told the world what she must ere long tell. With
trembling fingers she unfolded the paper and felt herself grow cold and
faint, when she saw that instead of the article which was to prove her
innocent and pure, she held only a receipt for goods bought and paid for
by her mother in New York. Search as she might, she could not find the
document she sought. That was gone, how or where she could not guess
until she remembered having burned some waste papers accumulating in her
drawer, only a few days before. She had it then and read it over, and
supposed she laid it back in the box where she always kept it, but she
must have put in its place the receipt which was folded and looked much
like it, and burned the only evidence she had that she was not the
wicked thing she felt herself to be as she sank upon the floor and
wished that she could die. It was terrible to see such grief in one so
young, for Heloise, though well grown and tall, was little more than
fifteen, and her face when in repose was the face of a child. But it
seemed old now, and gray, and pinched with that look of anguish upon it,
mingled with something akin to shame, as she crouched upon the floor and
whispered to herself:
“What if mother and the world do not believe me?” Then swift as thought
the answer came: “I’ll drown myself in the river;” and sitting upright
upon the floor, the young girl went through in fancy with all the
sickening details which such a catastrophe would involve. The anxiety of
the mother, the alarm, the search for her body, the finding it at last,
and the coroner’s inquest, where possibly her secret would be discovered
and she be disgraced all the same.
“No, no,” she moaned, “better live and fight it out, knowing I am
innocent, than carry a sullied name to a suicide’s grave.”
“And lose your soul,” something whispered in her ear, making her start
with a new horror as she remembered the hereafter she had in her madness
almost forgotten.
Falling upon her knees, she sobbed, “Lead me not into temptation, but
deliver me from evil.”
That was all she could say, but Jesus knew what she meant,—knew that she
wanted help, and He helped her as He always does when asked aright, and
her heart ceased to throb so painfully, and the hard look left her face,
and the tears came to her relief as she said:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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