"Niver been in your life? Then don't go. Niver go if you can help it. Owd Mr Burton paid for me to go, he did--owd vicar's father, you know-- and he said to me a did, `Mind ta go and see some o' the London chutches, Warmoth,' he says; and I did, and bless thou, pretty places they weer. I niver see a playhouse, but Sammy Mason wint to one i' London, and he towd me what it were like, and the chutch I went into i' the City weer just like it. Why, mun, theer were a big picter ower the 'mandments, and carpets on the floors, and all the pews was full o' red cushions an' basses, just as if they was all squires' sittings, and brass rails and red curtins an' grand candlesticks. Then reight up i' the gallery wheer the singers sit was a great thing all covered wi' goolden pipes, an' a man i' the front sittin' lookin' at his self i' a lookin' glass. That was t' organ, you know, and eh, but it was a straange sort o' plaace altogether to call a chutch." "Not like our old barn, eh, Sammy?" shouted the Churchwarden. "Nay, not a bit, Master Portlock," piped the old man. "Gi'e me whitewesh, and neat clean pews and a plait-straw cushion and bass. Folk don't go to sleep then, and snore through t' sarmunt. If I had my way, Master Portlock, I wouldn't hev a thing changed." "No, I suppose not, Sam," said the Churchwarden, nodding. "Sixty years have I been clerk o' t' owd chutch, and hae buried generations of them as comed to the owd place--christened 'em, and married 'em, and buried 'em, Master Portlock. They didn't like me being made clerk so young in them days. Jacky Robinson, as wanted to be clerk when father died, said I was nobbut a boy, but t' owd vicar said--owd Master Willoughby, you didn't know him?" The Churchwarden shook his head. "No; he died eight and fifty year ago. He said, `No; let Sammy Warmoth step into his father's shoes, same as him as is dead stepped into his father's shoes. I find,' he says, `there's been Warmoth's clerks here for a hundred years at least;' and now, Master Portlock, sir, I can say there's been Warmoths clerks here for a hundred and sixty year, and if my life is spared I'll make it two hundred, for they can't turn me out, and I wean't go." "How old wert ta when you was made clerk, Sammy?" said the Churchwarden, looking at the old man with a pitying smile. "Thrutty-three, and I was just married, Master Portlock, and thrutty-three and sixty makes ninety-three, eh?" "Fine owd age, Sam." "Eh?" "A fine owd age, I say." "Chah! Not it. Read your Bible more, man. Ninety-three's as good as nowt to what men used to be. Nay, nay, nay, I shan't give up. Yow may go and tell parson as theer's lots o' life in me yet, and that he'd best go back again to London and foreign parts, and leave us alone here wi' Mr Paulby. He'll drive all the congregation over to the Dissenters, they're talking a'ready o' building noo chapel for ta Wesley folk."