Till the age of six years old, I am not conscious of having
loved any human being. From accidental circumstances my nurses
had been so often changed, that I had not had the opportunity
of attaching myself to any of them; and as to my uncle, I
believe he might have left Elmsley for days, weeks or months,
without causing me the slightest sensation of regret or
solitude. He did not often absent himself from home, but on
one occasion he did so for three months, and a few days before
his return, my nurse informed me that he was married, and that
I should soon see my new aunt. The announcement caused me
neither pleasure nor pain; and curiosity was the only feeling
with which I anticipated the arrival so eagerly looked forward
to by the whole of my uncle's establishment. When Mrs.
Middleton arrived I was immediately summoned into the
drawing-room. The tenderness of her manner, the expressions of
fondness with which she greeted me; the emotion which her
countenance betrayed, were all so totally different from
anything that I had ever witnessed, that I felt as if a being
from another world had come among us. There was something
heavenly in the expression of her countenance, there was
something original in every word she uttered; in her gaiety
there was a bubbling joyousness, an intense enjoyment in
enjoyment, that was irresistibly attractive, and in sorrow or
in emotion, her tears fell unconsciously from her eyes, and
would trickle down her cheeks without any of the disfiguring
grimaces which usually attend the act of weeping. I loved her
from the first instant I saw her, and my childish heart clung
to her with all the strength of feeling that had lain dormant
in it during the first years of my existence. To use a
familiar expression, we took to each other instantaneously; I
do not know that she was fond of children, as it is called;
she did not stop to caress those we met in our walks, and of
romping and noise she grew very soon weary; but there was so
much originality in her understanding, and so much simplicity
in her character; she was so in earnest about every employment
and amusement which she admitted me to share, that, superior
as she was, I never felt that she was making an effort to
bring herself down to my level, and consequently in her
society never experienced the weariness which children are apt
to feel, from those flat and unprofitable attempts to amuse
them, which are so often made and so often fail. She required
sympathy; it was as necessary to her as the air of heaven, and
what she so much needed herself, she amply yielded to others,
I never met in my life with any one who entered into the
feelings of those about her as she did.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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