"I need not go into further details. You now can trace for
yourself the whole course of my relentless persecution, and of
her long and bitter struggles. From first to last,--from the
hour she pledged her faith to you at the altar, to that in
which you surprised her at my feet,--she has been true to you.
I say it even now, with jealous rage; for the fierce love with
which I have loved her is still smouldering in my breast, and
will only die when I die; I say it with the agony of death in
my soul,--with the vision of an approaching eternity before
me,--she has been true to you: she has loved you as I loved
her; and when she clung to my feet, and vainly sued for mercy
at my hands, it was to implore that I would suffer her to
reveal the truth to you, the acknowledgment of which might
then have saved her. She is dying now, and I have not long to
live. She has never loved me, and I have loved her,--and I am
sometimes mad--not _now_. If you do not believe me, send for
the woman who saw her strike the child. Speak to Robert
Harding. Curse _me_, and forgive _her_. Alice has forgiven me.
Shall you forgive Ellen, and go to her?
"I have nothing more to say, and I sit writing to you as if
the end of all things was at hand.
"Henry Lovell."
With a deep-drawn sigh, and a steady gaze on the calm pure sky
before him, Mr. Lacy folded and put up this letter. During the
rest of his short journey he meditated in silence, on the
sorrows he had left behind him, and those he was going in
search of; and as he fixed his eyes on the blue and boundless
arch over his head, his lips unconsciously repeated that
sublime passage in the prophecies of Isaiah:--"My thoughts are
not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the
Lord; for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my
ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your
thoughts."
On his arrival at the lodge of the park at Hillscombe, his
inquiries after Mr. Middleton were answered by a positive
assurance that he was not at home; and it was only after
stating that the business he was come upon was of the highest
importance, that he could induce the porter to dispatch a note
from himself to Mr. Middleton, requesting an immediate
interview, and reminding him of some circumstances connected
with his late uncle, which gave him an especial claim upon his
regard and respect. After a while, the servant returned, and
requested Mr. Lacy to proceed to the house. As he drove
through those grounds,--as he entered that house, the scene of
poor Ellen's brief dream of happiness--as he prepared to meet
her husband, he felt nearly overcome by his anxiety for the
result of this important interview.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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