“I don’t pretend to know all about religion, my friend, but I do know
what a powerful influence it is for clean and noble living, and if
you’ll only be fair now, my friend, and give me a chance to tell these
other gentlemen what my experience of answers to prayer has been—”
“Yuh, swell lot of experience you’ve had, by your looks!”
“See here, there are others who may want to hear—”
Though Elmer detested Eddie’s sappiness, though he might have liked to
share drinks with the lively young baker-heckler, there was no really
good unctuous violence to be had except by turning champion of religion.
The packed crowd excited him, and the pressure of rough bodies, the
smell of wet overcoats, the rumble of mob voices. It was like a football
line-up.
“Here, you!” he roared at the baker. “Let the fellow speak! Give him a
chance. Whyn’t you pick on somebody your own size, you big stiff!”
At his elbow, Jim Lefferts begged, “Let’s get out of this, Hell-cat.
Good Lord! You ain’t going to help a gospel-peddler!”
Elmer pushed him away and thrust his chest out toward the baker, who was
cackling, “Heh! I suppose you’re a Christer, too!”
“I would be, if I was worthy!” Elmer fully believed it, for that
delightful moment. “These boys are classmates of mine, and they’re going
to have a chance to speak!”
Eddie Fislinger bleated to his mates, “Oh, fellows, Elm Gantry! Saved!”
Even this alarming interpretation of his motives could not keep Elmer
now from the holy zeal of fighting. He thrust aside the one aged man who
stood between him and the baker—bashing in the aged one’s derby and
making him telescope like a turtle’s neck—and stood with his fist
working like a connecting-rod by his side.
“If you’re looking for trouble—” the baker suggested, clumsily wobbling
his huge bleached fists.
“Not me,” observed Elmer and struck, once, very judiciously, just at the
point of the jaw.
The baker shook like a skyscraper in an earthquake and caved to the
earth.
One of the baker’s pals roared, “Come on, we’ll kill them guys and—”
Elmer caught him on the left ear. It was a very cold ear, and the pal
staggered, extremely sick. Elmer looked pleased. But he did not feel
pleased. He was almost sober, and he realized that half a dozen
rejoicing young workmen were about to rush him. Though he had an
excellent opinion of himself, he had seen too much football, as played
by denominational colleges with the Christian accompaniments of kneeing
and gouging, to imagine that he could beat half a dozen workmen at once.
It is doubtful whether he would ever have been led to further
association with the Lord and Eddie Fislinger had not Providence
intervened in its characteristically mysterious way. The foremost of the
attackers was just reaching for Elmer when the mob shouted, “Look out!
The cops!”
The police force of Cato, all three of them, were wedging into the
crowd. They were lanky, mustached men with cold eyes.
“What’s all this row about?” demanded the chief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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