“Oh, the unspeakable joy of finding the joys of salvation! You have
heard our brother’s testimony. We know of him as a man of power, as a
brother to all them that are oppressed, and now that he has had his eyes
opened and his ears unstopped, and he sees the need of confession and of
humble surrender before the throne— Oh, this is a historic moment in
the life of Hell-c—— of Elmer Gantry! Oh, Brother, be not afraid!
Come! Step up here beside me, and give testimony—”
“God! We better get outa here quick!” panted Jim.
“Gee, yes!” Elmer groaned, and they edged back through the crowd, while
Eddie Fislinger’s piping pursued them like icy and penetrating rain:
“Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the leading of Jesus! Are you boys going
to show yourselves too cowardly to risk the sneers of the ungodly?”
They were safely out of the crowd, walking with severe countenances and
great rapidity back to the Old Home Sample Room.
“That was a dirty trick of Eddie’s!” said Jim.
“God, it certainly was! Trying to convert me! Right before those
muckers! If I ever hear another yip out of Eddie, I’ll knock his block
off! Nerve of him, trying to lead _me_ up to any mourners’ bench! Fat
chance! I’ll fix him! Come on, show a little speed!” asserted the
brother to all them that were oppressed.
By the time for their late evening train, the sound conversation of the
bartender and the sound qualities of his Bourbon had caused Elmer and
Jim to forget Eddie Fislinger and the horrors of undressing religion in
public. They were the more shocked, then, swaying in their seat in the
smoker, to see Eddie standing by them, Bible in hand, backed by his two
beaming partners in evangelism.
Eddie bared his teeth, smiled all over his watery eyes, and caroled:
“Oh, fellows, you don’t know how wonderful you were tonight! But, oh,
boys, now you’ve taken the first step, why do you put it off—why do you
hesitate—why do you keep the Savior suffering as he waits for you,
longs for you? He needs you boys, with your splendid powers and
intellects that we admire so—”
“This air,” observed Jim Lefferts, “is getting too thick for me. I seem
to smell a peculiar and a fishlike smell.” He slipped out of the seat
and marched toward the forward car.
Elmer sought to follow him, but Eddie had flopped into Jim’s place and
was blithely squeaking on, while the other two hung over them with
tender Y. M. C. A. smiles very discomforting to Elmer’s queasy stomach
as the train bumped on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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