I was struck in the presence of these tidings with the fundamental
detachment that Mrs. Corvick’s public regret quite failed to conceal:
it gave me the measure of her consummate independence. That independence
rested on her knowledge, the knowledge which nothing now could destroy
and which nothing could make different. The figure in the carpet might
take on another twist or two, but the sentence had virtually been
written. The writer might go down to his grave: she was the person in
the world to whom--as if she had been his favoured heir--his continued
existence was least of a need. This reminded me how I had observed at a
particular moment--after Corvick’s death--the drop of her desire to see
him face to face. She had got what she wanted without that. I had been
sure that if she hadn’t got it she wouldn’t have been restrained from
the endeavour to sound him personally by those superior reflections,
more conceivable on a man’s part than on a woman’s, which in my case had
served as a deterrent. It wasn’t however, I hasten to add, that my case,
in spite of this invidious comparison, wasn’t ambiguous enough. At the
thought that Vereker was perhaps at that moment dying there rolled over
me a wave of anguish--a poignant sense of how inconsistently I still
depended on him. A delicacy that it was my one compensation to suffer to
rule me had left the Alps and the Apennines between us, but the vision
of the waning opportunity made me feel as if I might in my despair at
last have gone to him. Of course I would really have done nothing of
the sort. I remained five minutes, while my companions talked of the
new book, and when Drayton Deane appealed to me for my opinion of it I
replied, getting up, that I detested Hugh Vereker--simply couldn’t read
him. I went away with the moral certainty that as the door closed
behind me Deane would remark that I was awfully superficial. His hostess
wouldn’t contradict him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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