England, My EnglandLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
England, My England
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories, English
But the stables were empty. Joseph Pervin, the father of the family,
had been a man of no education, who had become a fairly large horse
dealer. The stables had been full of horses, there was a great turmoil
and come-and-go of horses and of dealers and grooms. Then the kitchen
was full of servants. But of late things had declined. The old man had
married a second time, to retrieve his fortunes. Now he was dead and
everything was gone to the dogs, there was nothing but debt and
threatening.
For months, Mabel had been servantless in the big house, keeping the
home together in penury for her ineffectual brothers. She had kept
house for ten years. But previously, it was with unstinted means. Then,
however brutal and coarse everything was, the sense of money had kept
her proud, confident. The men might be foul-mouthed, the women in the
kitchen might have bad reputations, her brothers might have
illegitimate children. But so long as there was money, the girl felt
herself established, and brutally proud, reserved.
No company came to the house, save dealers and coarse men. Mabel had no
associates of her own sex, after her sister went away. But she did not
mind. She went regularly to church, she attended to her father. And she
lived in the memory of her mother, who had died when she was fourteen,
and whom she had loved. She had loved her father, too, in a different
way, depending upon him, and feeling secure in him, until at the age of
fifty-four he married again. And then she had set hard against him. Now
he had died and left them all hopelessly in debt.
She had suffered badly during the period of poverty. Nothing, however,
could shake the curious sullen, animal pride that dominated each member
of the family. Now, for Mabel, the end had come. Still she would not
cast about her. She would follow her own way just the same. She would
always hold the keys of her own situation. Mindless and persistent, she
endured from day to day. Why should she think? Why should she answer
anybody? It was enough that this was the end, and there was no way out.
She need not pass any more darkly along the main street of the small
town, avoiding every eye. She need not demean herself any more, going
into the shops and buying the cheapest food. This was at an end. She
thought of nobody, not even of herself. Mindless and persistent, she
seemed in a sort of ecstasy to be coming nearer to her fulfilment, her
own glorification, approaching her dead mother, who was glorified.
In the afternoon she took a little bag, with shears and sponge and a
small scrubbing brush, and went out. It was a grey, wintry day, with
saddened, dark-green fields and an atmosphere blackened by the smoke of
foundries not far off. She went quickly, darkly along the causeway,
heeding nobody, through the town to the churchyard.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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