England, My EnglandLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
England, My England
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories, English
Bit by bit, like a doom came the necessity to know. He was hit in the
head. It was only a vague surmise at first. But in the swinging of the
pendulum of pain, swinging ever nearer and nearer, to touch him into an
agony of consciousness and a consciousness of agony, gradually the
knowledge emerged—he must be hit in the head—hit on the left brow; if
so, there would be blood—was there blood?—could he feel blood in his
left eye? Then the clanging seemed to burst the membrane of his brain,
like death-madness.
Was there blood on his face? Was hot blood flowing? Or was it dry blood
congealing down his cheek? It took him hours even to ask the question:
time being no more than an agony in darkness, without measurement.
A long time after he had opened his eyes he realised he was seeing
something—something, something, but the effort to recall what was too
great. No, no; no recall!
Were they the stars in the dark sky? Was it possible it was stars in
the dark sky? Stars? The world? Ah, no, he could not know it! Stars and
the world were gone for him, he closed his eyes. No stars, no sky, no
world. No, No! The thick darkness of blood alone. It should be one
great lapse into the thick darkness of blood in agony.
Death, oh, death! The world all blood, and the blood all writhing with
death. The soul like the tiniest little light out on a dark sea, the
sea of blood. And the light guttering, beating, pulsing in a windless
storm, wishing it could go out, yet unable.
There had been life. There had been Winifred and his children. But the
frail death-agony effort to catch at straws of memory, straws of life
from the past, brought on too great a nausea. No, No! No Winifred, no
children. No world, no people. Better the agony of dissolution ahead
than the nausea of the effort backwards. Better the terrible work
should go forward, the dissolving into the black sea of death, in the
extremity of dissolution, than that there should be any reaching back
towards life. To forget! To forget! Utterly, utterly to forget, in the
great forgetting of death. To break the core and the unit of life, and
to lapse out on the great darkness. Only that. To break the clue, and
mingle and commingle with the one darkness, without afterwards or
forwards. Let the black sea of death itself solve the problem of
futurity. Let the will of man break and give up.
What was that? A light! A terrible light! Was it figures? Was it legs
of a horse colossal—colossal above him: huge, huge?
The Germans heard a slight noise, and started. Then, in the glare of a
light-bomb, by the side of the heap of earth thrown up by the shell,
they saw the dead face.
TICKETS, PLEASE
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account