England, My EnglandLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
England, My England
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories, English
“Oh, yes, he’s upstairs changing. Yes, he’s awfully well. Take off your
wet things; I’ll send them to be dried.”
“And how are you both, in spirits? He doesn’t fret?”
“No—no, not at all. No, on the contrary, really. We’ve been wonderfully
happy, incredibly. It’s more than I can understand—so wonderful: the
nearness, and the peace—”
“Ah! Well, that’s awfully good news—”
They moved away. Pervin heard no more. But a childish sense of
desolation had come over him, as he heard their brisk voices. He seemed
shut out—like a child that is left out. He was aimless and excluded, he
did not know what to do with himself. The helpless desolation came over
him. He fumbled nervously as he dressed himself, in a state almost of
childishness. He disliked the Scotch accent in Bertie’s speech, and the
slight response it found on Isabel’s tongue. He disliked the slight
purr of complacency in the Scottish speech. He disliked intensely the
glib way in which Isabel spoke of their happiness and nearness. It made
him recoil. He was fretful and beside himself like a child, he had
almost a childish nostalgia to be included in the life circle. And at
the same time he was a man, dark and powerful and infuriated by his own
weakness. By some fatal flaw, he could not be by himself, he had to
depend on the support of another. And this very dependence enraged him.
He hated Bertie Reid, and at the same time he knew the hatred was
nonsense, he knew it was the outcome of his own weakness.
He went downstairs. Isabel was alone in the dining-room. She watched
him enter, head erect, his feet tentative. He looked so strong-blooded
and healthy, and, at the same time, cancelled. Cancelled—that was the
word that flew across her mind. Perhaps it was his scars suggested it.
“You heard Bertie come, Maurice?” she said.
“Yes—isn’t he here?”
“He’s in his room. He looks very thin and worn.”
“I suppose he works himself to death.”
A woman came in with a tray—and after a few minutes Bertie came down.
He was a little dark man, with a very big forehead, thin, wispy hair,
and sad, large eyes. His expression was inordinately sad—almost funny.
He had odd, short legs.
Isabel watched him hesitate under the door, and glance nervously at her
husband. Pervin heard him and turned.
“Here you are, now,” said Isabel. “Come, let us eat.”
Bertie went across to Maurice.
“How are you, Pervin,” he said, as he advanced.
The blind man stuck his hand out into space, and Bertie took it.
“Very fit. Glad you’ve come,” said Maurice.
Isabel glanced at them, and glanced away, as if she could not bear to
see them.
“Come,” she said. “Come to table. Aren’t you both awfully hungry? I am,
tremendously.”
“I’m afraid you waited for me,” said Bertie, as they sat down.
Maurice had a curious monolithic way of sitting in a chair, erect and
distant. Isabel’s heart always beat when she caught sight of him thus.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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