England, My EnglandLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
England, My England
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories, English
The publican stood at the window with his back to the bed. The husband,
like one condemned but on the point of starting away, stood by the
bedside staring in horror at his wife, whose dilated grey eyes, nearly
all black now, watched him wearily, as if she were looking at something
a long way off.
Going exceedingly pale, he jerked up his head and stared at the wall
over the pillows. There was a little coloured picture of a bird perched
on a bell, and a nest among ivy leaves beneath. It appealed to him,
made him wonder, roused a feeling of childish magic in him. They were
wonderfully fresh, green ivy leaves, and nobody had seen the nest among
them save him.
Then suddenly he looked down again at the face on the bed, to try and
recognise it. He knew the white brow and the beautiful clear eyebrows.
That was his wife, with whom he had passed his youth, flesh of his
flesh, his, himself. Then those tired eyes, which met his again from a
long way off, disturbed him until he did not know where he was. Only
the sunken cheeks, and the mouth that seemed to protrude now were
foreign to him, and filled him with horror. It seemed he lost his
identity. He was the young husband of the woman with the clear brows;
he was the married man fighting with her whose eyes watched him, a
little indifferently, from a long way off; and he was a child in horror
of that protruding mouth.
There came a crackling sound of her voice. He knew she had consumption
of the throat, and braced himself hard to bear the noise.
“What was it, Maud?” he asked in panic.
Then the broken, crackling voice came again. He was too terrified of
the sound of it to hear what was said. There was a pause.
“You’ll take Winnie?” the publican’s voice interpreted from the window.
“Don’t you bother, Maud, I’ll take her,” he said, stupefying his mind
so as not to understand.
He looked curiously round the room. It was not a bad bedroom, light and
warm. There were many medicine bottles aggregated in a corner of the
washstand—and a bottle of Three Star brandy, half full. And there were
also photographs of strange people on the chest of drawers. It was not
a bad room.
Again he started as if he were shot. She was speaking. He bent down,
but did not look at her.
“Be good to her,” she whispered.
When he realised her meaning, that he should be good to their child
when the mother was gone, a blade went through his flesh.
“I’ll be good to her, Maud, don’t you bother,” he said, beginning to
feel shaky.
He looked again at the picture of the bird. It perched cheerfully under
a blue sky, with robust, jolly ivy leaves near. He was gathering his
courage to depart. He looked down, but struggled hard not to take in
the sight of his wife’s face.
“I s’ll come again, Maud,” he said. “I hope you’ll go on all right. Is
there anything as you want?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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