In the name of my Trinity, the Goddess of Reason, Mahomet the Prophet, and Pius the Pope; We the most great, most magnanimous, and most puissant BRUTUS ALY NAPOLEON BONAPARTE, son to a Spy, grandson to a Butcher, and great-grandson to a Galley Slave, Emperor of the Gauls, First Consul of France, President of Italy, Landamman of Switzerland, Director of Holland, King of Etruria, Protector of Emperors, Dictator and Creator of Kings, Electors, Princes, Cardinals, Senators, Generals, Bishops, Prefects, Actors, Schoolmasters, &c., &c., &c., do declare, that notwithstanding the adulation of our Slaves, and their assurances of immortality, the pangs of our conscience, the decay of our body, the fear of recoiling daggers, the dreadful anticipation of infernal machines emitting fire and smoke, invented at Jaffa, and the hissing breath of the poisonous serpents generated at El Arish, remind us that we soon must die, and that our power must die with us. We, therefore, according to the _Senatus Consultum_ of our free Senate, do declare this to be our last Will and Testament, as follows: _Imprimis._ To our most beloved, and dearest _Ibrahim Rostan_, Mameluke, we give and bequeath after our decease, the crown of Henry IV., the sceptre of Saint Louis, and the throne of France and Navarre, the sovereignty and sovereign disposal of the lives and fortunes of thirty millions of Frenchmen, of six millions of Italians, of seven millions of Spaniards, of two millions of Helvetians, and of three millions of Batavians, (except as is hereafter excepted) and we enjoin and charge all the world to acknowledge, adore, and respect this Mameluke, _Ibrahim Rostan_, the African, as the natural and legal successor of us, _Brutus Aly Napoleon Bonaparte_, the Corsican. We give and bequeath in reversion, to Citizen _Barras_, our dear Consort, much improved, and more enriched, but reserving to ourselves the disposal of her virtuous Maids of Honour, whom we give and bequeath to our _Legion of Honour_, as a reward due as well to the virtues of the one, as to the valour of the other. We give and bequeath to our dearly beloved brother _Joseph_, the presidency of the Italian Republic, together with our dearly bought Minister _Talleyrand_, to be disposed of as his own property, in all future negociations. To our dearly beloved brother _Lucien_, we give and bequeath our Batavian Republic, and our Minister _Chaptal_, who, hereafter, shall write his speeches, dictate his letters, and correct his spelling. To our dearly beloved brother _Louis_, we bequeath our Helvetian Republic, and our Minister _Berthier_, accompanied with the sense of his Secretary _Achambau_, whose instructions, in some time, may enable him to become a good Corporal of Grenadiers.