Well, he set out, and he travelled a long way, and at last he came to a
woman's cottage that had some grass growing on the roof. And the woman
was trying to get her cow to go up a ladder to the grass, and the poor
thing durst not go. So the gentleman asked the woman what she was doing.
“Why, lookye,” she said, “look at all that beautiful grass. I'm going to
get the cow on to the roof to eat it. She'll be quite safe, for I shall
tie a string round her neck, and pass it down the chimney, and tie it
to my wrist as I go about the house, so she can't fall off without my
knowing it.” “Oh, you poor silly!” said the gentleman, “you should cut
the grass and throw it down to the cow!” But the woman thought it was
easier to get the cow up the ladder than to get the grass down, so she
pushed her and coaxed her and got her up, and tied a string round her
neck, and passed it down the chimney, and fastened it to her own wrist.
And the gentleman went on his way, but he hadn't gone far when the cow
tumbled off the roof, and hung by the string tied round her neck, and
it strangled her. And the weight of the cow tied to her wrist pulled the
woman up the chimney, and she stuck fast half-way and was smothered in
the soot.
Well, that was one big silly.
And the gentleman went on and on, and he went to an inn to stop the
night, and they were so full at the inn that they had to put him in a
double-bedded room, and another traveller was to sleep in the other bed.
The other man was a very pleasant fellow, and they got very friendly
together; but in the morning, when they were both getting up, the
gentleman was surprised to see the other hang his trousers on the knobs
of the chest of drawers and run across the room and try to jump into
them, and he tried over and over again, and couldn't manage it; and the
gentleman wondered whatever he was doing it for. At last he stopped and
wiped his face with his handkerchief. “Oh dear,” he says, “I do think
trousers are the most awkwardest kind of clothes that ever were. I can't
think who could have invented such things. It takes me the best part
of an hour to get into mine every morning, and I get so hot! How do you
manage yours?” So the gentleman burst out a-laughing, and showed him how
to put them on; and he was very much obliged to him, and said he never
should have thought of doing it that way.
So that was another big silly.
Then the gentleman went on his travels again; and he came to a village,
and outside the village there was a pond, and round the pond was a crowd
of people. And they had got rakes, and brooms, and pitchforks, reaching
into the pond; and the gentleman asked what was the matter. “Why,” they
say, “matter enough! Moon's tumbled into the pond, and we can't rake
her out anyhow!” So the gentleman burst out a-laughing, and told them to
look up into the sky, and that it was only the shadow in the water. But
they wouldn't listen to him, and abused him shamefully, and he got away
as quick as he could.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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