Dean Cowper, of Durham, who was very economical of his wine, descanting one day on the extraordinary performance of a man who was blind, he remarked that the poor fellow could see no more than “that bottle.” “I do not wonder at it at all, sir,” replied Mr. Drake, a minor canon, “for _we_ have seen no more than ‘that bottle’ all the afternoon.” WHO WOULD GROAN AND SWEAT? When Foote was in Paris, in the course of an evening’s conversation with some English gentlemen, the subject turned on Mr. Garrick’s acting, when some of the company expressed their fears of that great performer’s relinquishing the stage. “Make yourselves easy on that head,” replied the wit, “for he’d play Richard before a kitchen fire in the dog-days, provided he was sure of getting a sop in the pan.” POSTHUMOUS TRAVELS. Professor Porson being once at a dinner party where the conversation turned upon Captain Cook and his celebrated voyages round the world; an ignorant person, in order to contribute his mite towards the social intercourse, asked him, “Pray, was Cook killed on his first voyage?” “I believe he was,” answered Porson, “though he did not mind it much, but immediately entered on the second.” HOSPITALITY. There is a delightful smack of old England in the following anecdote. The famous Tom Thynne, who was remarkable for his good house-keeping and hospitality, standing one day at his gate in the country, a beggar coming up to him, begged his worship would give him a mug of his small beer. “Why, how now,” said he, “what times are these, when beggars must be choosers! I say, bring this fellow a mug of strong beer.” NEW OPPOSITION. At the time when the lower house were in conversation about the propositions which Lord North intended to lay before them with respect to Ireland, and were calling upon him to give them some hint of what they were; the celebrated Mr. Fox observed that the house might be assured they would be exactly contrary to his former measures; “for the noble lord was convinced in all cases, that the only chance he had of being right was by acting in opposition to himself.” VERSES ON A SCOLD. Mr. Thomas Fuller, a man admired for his wit, but whose great fault was that he would rather lose his friend than his jest, having made some verses upon a scolding wife, Dr. Cousin, his patron and benefactor, hearing them repeated, desired Mr. Fuller to oblige him with a copy of them; to whom he very imprudently, though wittily replied, “’Tis needless to give you a copy, doctor, for you have the original.” NO ALTERNATIVE. A porter passing near Temple Bar with a load on his shoulders, having unintentionally jostled a man who was going that way, the fellow gave the porter a violent box on the ear, upon which a gentleman passing exclaimed, “Why, my friend, will you take that?” “Take it,” replied the porter, rubbing his cheek, “don’t you see he has given it me.” POINT DE TOUT LACE.