A lady raised from an obscure rank by a noble marriage, happened to be at court when the Spanish ambassador made his appearance with very great splendour. Among other things which drew attention, the richness of the laces were particularly noticed. On the return of this new-made lady of quality to her lord’s house, she met the celebrated Lord Chesterfield, to whom she related the splendour of the foreign minister, and dwelt particularly on the richness of the laces. “Pray, my lady,” said his lordship, “what kind of lace was it?” “Really, my lord, I forget the name, but I should know it if you mentioned it.” “Was it then _point d’Espagnes_?” “No, it was not that.” “Was it _point de Brusselles_?” “No, no; not that.” “Oh,” said the witty Earl, “I know now what it was, it was _point de tout_.” “You are very right,” replied the lady, “that was the name of the lace.” MILTON. When Milton was blind, he married a shrew. The Duke of Buckingham called her a rose. “I am no judge of colours,” replied Milton, “and it may be so, for I feel the thorns daily.” ANOTHER VERSION. Milton’s third wife was the daughter of Mr. Minshull of Namptwich, in Cheshire. She had an unhappy temper, but so fine a complexion that a French gentleman who once paid him a visit said, “Monsieur Milton, your lady is like the rose.” “It may be so,” replied the poet with a sigh, “but I am so unhappy as to be blind, and, alas! I have never found anything but the thorns.” A LAWYER’S LAST STAGE. A Cornish clergyman having a dispute concerning several shares in different mines, found it necessary to send for a London limb of the law to have some conversation with the witnesses, examine the title-deeds, view the premises, &c. The divine very soon found that his legal assistant was as great a scoundrel as ever was struck off the rolls. However, as he thought his knowledge might be useful, he shewed him his papers, took him to compare his surveyor’s drawings, with the situation of the pits, &c. When, in one of these excursions, the professional gentleman was descending a deep shaft by means of a rope which he held tight in his hand, he called out to the parson who stood at the top, “Doctor, as you have not confined your studies to geography, but know all things from the surface to the centre, pray how far is it from this pit to that in the infernal regions?” “I cannot exactly ascertain the distance,” replied the divine, “but let go your hold and you’ll be there in a minute.” NEWSPAPER OBITUARIES. It was once stated in a newspaper that a person was _killed_ by accident, and that his wife was so much affected by the incident as to leave it doubtful whether she would _survive_ him. A gentleman, to whom this blunder was shewn, observed that all the absurdly penned notices of deaths in the newspapers arose from _people writing their own obituaries_. A STRIKING LIKENESS.