English Jests and Anecdotes, Collected from Various SourcesVarious
General
English Jests and Anecdotes, Collected from Various Sources
Various
Anecdotes -- England; English wit and humor
THE PARALLEL OF THE ODYSSEY AND THE RED INDIAN.
Homer relates how in spite of all the precautions of Ulysses, his
companions let loose the Bag of the Winds, and he, calmly wrapping
his mantle round his head, submits to his fate. The passage is thus
translated--
“I then awaking, in my noble mind
Stood doubting, whether from my vessel’s side
Immersed to perish in the flood, or calm
To endure my sorrows and consent to live.
I calm endured them; but around my head
Winding my mantle, laid me down below.”
An Indian chief was lying asleep in his boat, which was fastened to the
shore, in the still water above the current of the Niagara Falls. An
enemy passing along cut the rope and sent the boat adrift, which was
soon hurrying down the cataract. The Indian, awaking, at once saw his
danger, and made every effort by means of his paddle to stop the career
of the canoe and gain the land. He soon found that his efforts were
unavailing, and that his destruction was at hand. He took a draught
from his brandy flask, wrapped his mantle about him, and calmly looking
forward at the fate awaiting him, went down the Falls.
THE LONDON BIBLIOPOLIST.
An author was entertaining Theodore Hook with a description of a dinner
party at which a well known bibliopolist had partaken too freely,
when the wit remarked, “Why, you appear to me to have emptied your
_wine-cellar_ into your _book-seller_.”
AN ENTOMOLOGIST’S DINNER.
Sydney Smith, on the occasion of his being invited by his publisher to
meet at dinner several distinguished entomologists, suggested as a bill
of fare proper for the occasion, “To wit, flea patés, earthworms on
toast, caterpillars crawling in cream and removing themselves,” &c., &c.
LORD CHANCELLOR ERSKINE.
This great orator and profound lawyer, among his many qualifications,
was signally deficient in his knowledge of the French language. Being
in Paris, he was desirous of having several of his friends to dinner,
and insisted on writing the notes of invitation himself. On Wednesday,
the day appointed, none of his friends appeared, and he was in great
perplexity. On inquiry being made if he was certain that his notes were
all right, after a short pause, he asked, “Isn’t _Vendredi_ French for
Wednesday?”
ROBERT BURNS.
On one occasion at a public dinner, during the feverish times of
Jacobinism, the poet was asked for a toast. In response, he gave a
Bible toast, “the last verse of the last chapter of the last Book of
Kings.” On another occasion, before some high Tories, having to give a
toast, he said to the chairman, “You agree that Lords should have their
privileges?” “Yes, certainly,” was the reply. “Well, then, I’ll give
you the privileges of the Lords of the Creation.”
RICHELIEU’S LIBERALITY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account