Fenelon frequently teased Richelieu for subscriptions to charitable undertakings, but quite ineffectually. Telling Richelieu that he had just seen his picture, the latter with a sneer asked “Did you ask it for a subscription?” “No,” answered Fenelon, “I saw there was no chance, it was so like you.” BISHOP HORSLEY. In a speech in the House of Lords on the Slave Trade, the worthy Bishop made a quotation on the authority of Mungo Park to the effect “That to such a pitch of elegance and refinement has Africa advanced, that in the bosom, in the very heart of that calumniated country, there are women to be found wearing white petticoats.” SHABBY DINNERS. A shabby Amphytrion asked repeatedly a neighbour of his to dine with him. After many refusals he at length accepted an invitation, but found the dinner so meagre and bad that he got scarcely a morsel to eat. When the dishes were removed the host said, “Now the ice is broken, I suppose you will ask me to dine with you some day.” “Most willingly.” “Name your day, then.” “To-day,” answered the dinnerless guest. It is told of another, remarkable for absence of mind, that dining at the same sort of shabby repast he fancied himself in his own house, and began to apologise for the wretchedness of the dinner. IN THE WRONG PLACE. A young fellow having found his way to a ball-room at Chelsea, was asked by one of the stewards, “What are you?” (meaning to enquire what o’clock it was). Awaking to a lively consciousness of the intrusion of which he had been guilty, he stammered out, “Why, sir, I confess I am a baker, but if you will have the goodness to say no more about it I will instantly leave the room.” THE RETORT COURTEOUS. A lady from Vienna was very pronounced in expressing her opinion that “French was spoken wretchedly in London.” Lord Dudley, somewhat stung by the remark, replied, “It is true, madam, we have not enjoyed the advantage of having had the French twice in our capital.” CHARLES LAMB. Lamb had for his next neighbour, at dinner, a chattering woman. Observing that he didn’t attend to what she was saying, she remarked, “You don’t seem to be at all the better for what I have been saying to you.” “No, madam,” he answered, “but this gentleman on the other side of me must, for it all came in at one ear and went out at the other.” BANNISTER AT SIXTY-FIVE. Bannister was somewhat sad in finding he had reached his sixty-fifth year, which was exactly the number of his house. Returning home in a melancholy humour, and looking up at the number plate on the door, soliloquised thus: “Aye, you needn’t tell me, I know it; you told me the same thing yesterday.” THE BRABANTER AND THE SWISS. A Brabanter, in conversation with a Swiss, charged the latter with always being ready to fight for money, while he (the Brabanter) fought for honour. In reply, the Swiss drily said, “The truth is, we each of us fight for what each most wants.” CONTENTMENT.