In love should there meet a fond pair, Untutor’d by fashion or art; he took up a pen, and completed the verse by adding,-- If on earth such a couple there be, I’ll be whipt at the tail of a cart! SHUT THE DOOR. Among the many peculiarities of Dr. Burney, were two of a very innocent kind: the first was, the constant possession of wine of the best vintage, the next the dread of a current of air. “Shut the door,” was the first salutation uttered by him to any one who entered his apartment; and but few of his associates ever neglected the rule. This custom did not abandon him on the most trying occasions; for having been robbed by footpads while returning home one evening in his carriage to Chelsea Hospital, of which national asylum he was organist, he called them back as they were making off, exclaiming to them, in his usual peremptory tone, “Shut the door.” A voice so commanding had the desired effect; he was instantly obeyed. MR. JEKYLL. Mr. Jekyll being told that Mr. Raine, the barrister, was engaged as counsel for a Mr. Hay, inquired, if Raine was ever known to do good to Hay? HANDEL. While Handel was presiding at the organ, during the performance of his oratorio, entitled “Israel in Egypt,” the prima donna, Figuria Galli, commenced a song entirely out of tune--“I am an Israelite;” upon which Handel stopped the accompaniment, glared ferociously down upon the offender, and exclaimed, in a voice of ten thousand thunders, “_You are von dam beesh!_” FOOTE AND THE EARL OF KELLY. When the Earl of Kelly paid Foote a visit at his country villa, that celebrated wit took him into his garden, and, alluding to the beaming honours of his lordship’s face, said, “Pray, my lord, look over the wall upon my cucumber bed; it has had no sun this year.” A COMPLIMENT QUIZZED. A gentleman walking in the fields with a lady, picked a _blue bell_, and taking out his pencil, wrote the following lines, which, with the flower, he presented to the lady. This pretty flower, of heavenly hue, Must surely be allied to you; For you, dear girl, are heavenly too. To which the lady replied:-- If, sir, your compliment be true, I’m sorry that _I look so blue_. KILLING THE DEVIL. A young girl from the country, on a visit to Mr. H----, a Quaker, was prevailed on to accompany him to the meeting. It happened to be a silent one, none of the brethren being moved by the spirit to utter a syllable. When Mr. H. left the meeting-house with his young friend, he asked her, “How dost thou like the meeting?” To which she pettishly replied, “Like it? why, I can see no sense in it; to go and sit for whole hours together without speaking a word,--it is enough to kill the Devil.” “Yes, my dear,” rejoined the Quaker, “_that_ is just what we want.” THE GREATEST BORE IN LONDON.