At a dinner party, one day, somebody talked of a rich rector in Worcestershire, whose name he could not recollect, but who had not preached for the last twelve months, as he every Sunday requested one of the neighbouring clergy to officiate for him. “Oh!” replied a gentleman present, “though you cannot recollect his name, I can--it is England--England expects every man to do his duty.” BON-MOT OF SIR WILLIAM CURTIS. A coach proprietor complained to Sir William Curtis that he suspected his guard of robbing him, and asked what he should do? “_Prenez-garde_,” said Sir William. BON-MOT ON A TEA-URN. Lady S----r was complaining one morning at breakfast that the tea was very bad, and said she was quite sure the water didn’t boil; “Nay,” said she, “the urn didn’t even hiss when it was brought in.” “No,” said Sir W. E., “it was _tacit-urn_.” WHERE HURT. A gentleman who was relating an accident he had met with from a fall, was asked by a surgeon, if it was near the _vertebræ_ that he had been hurt? “No, sir,” was the reply, “it was near the Observatory.” PRECEDENCY IN SHAVING. A barber having come up to poll at a Berwick election, one of the candidates, with evident marks of disappointment, asked, “What! did you not shave me this morning?” “Yes,” answered the barber, “but I have shaved Mr. ---- (meaning the opposing candidate) since.” CONSUMPTIVE APPETITE. Doctor Thomson was called in to attend a gentleman, who persuaded himself that he was, to use a popular expression, “dying by inches.” The doctor caught the invalid at dinner, and having seen him demolish some soup, a slice of salmon, two cuts of chine of mutton, and half a partridge, inquired what other symptoms of disease he felt. “None particularly, sir,” said the invalid, “only every thing about me tends to convince me that I am consumptive.” “Your appetite is, at all events, sir,” said the doctor, and walked off. FIREWORKS. The fireworks for the peace of Ryswick were made by a colonel in the army, and were much admired. This gentleman one day commending Purcel’s epitaph, “He is gone to that place, where only his harmony can be exceeded.”--“Why,” said a lady present, “that epitaph will serve for you, with a very small alteration: there is nothing to do, but to change the word _harmony_ for _fireworks_.” CURIOUS FACT. In the great catalogue of the British Museum Library many of the books are classed according to the subjects of which they treat. Against the head “Rebellion” there appears this notice (only)--“_Vide_ Hibernia.” A SUDDEN RECOLLECTION.