GARRICK AN ACTOR ON AND OFF THE STAGE. Foote being at supper one night at the Bedford coffee-house, just after Garrick had performed Macbeth, the conversation very naturally turned on the merits of that great performer, when, after many eulogiums on the universality of his powers, it was admitted, on all hands, that he was the first actor _on_ any _stage_. “By G--d, gentlemen,” says Foote, “I don’t think you have above half said enough of him; for I think him not only the greatest actor _on_, but _off_ the stage.”[D] DR. JOHNSON ON A SCOTCH PROSPECT. When Dr. Johnson was in Scotland, amongst other curiosities shewn him, he was taken to a very ancient and high castle, which was reckoned to command the most extensive views of any in the country. “Well, sir,” says his guide, “what do you think of this prospect?” “It is the finest in all Scotland,” says the doctor; “for I can here see _the road to England_.” DR. JOHNSON ON THE RECONCILIATION OF WOMEN. Dr. Johnson sitting one night with a number of ladies and gentlemen of his acquaintance, the ladies, by way of heightening the good humour of the company, agreed to toast ordinary women. In this round, one of the ladies gave an old housekeeper of Dr. Johnson’s, blind of an eye, and another matched her with Dr. Goldsmith. This whimsical union so pleased the former lady, that though she had some pique with the latter in the beginning of the night, she ran round the table, kissed her, and said she forgave her every thing that happened for the _’propos_ of her last toast. “Ay,” says Johnson, “this puts me in mind of an observation of Swift’s, that the quarrels of women are made up like those of ancient kings,--_there is always an animal sacrificed on the occasion_.” REHEARSING A FUNERAL. Lord Chesterfield, a little before his death, was so infirm, that, whenever he went out in his coach, the horses were generally led step by step. In this situation he was one morning met by an acquaintance, who congratulated his lordship on being able to take the air. “I thank you kindly, sir,” says his lordship; “but I do not come out so much for the air, as for the benefit of _rehearsing my funeral_.” BEST SORT OF LANGUAGE FOR THE PULPIT. The vicar in a certain village in England, returning one Sunday from church, was thus accosted by an opulent farmer: “Well, doctor,” said he, “you be gwain on pretty well now; but why dount ye gi’ us now and than a scrap of Latin?” “Why,” said the vicar, “if I had thought it had been your wish, I should have had no objection, but for one thing--I am afraid you would not understand it.” “That,” said the other, “is nout to you; as we do pay vor the best, we oft to ha’ the best.” HOGARTH’S NO-DEDICATION. Hogarth wrote a History of the Arts, which he intended to publish as a supplement to the _Analysis of Beauty_, and even went so far as to write the dedication for it, which was as follows:--