English Jests and Anecdotes, Collected from Various SourcesVarious
General
English Jests and Anecdotes, Collected from Various Sources
Various
Anecdotes -- England; English wit and humor
Some one jocularly observed to the Marquis Wellesley that in his
arrangements of the ministry, “His brother the Duke had thrown him
overboard.” “Yes,” said the Marquis, “but I trust I have strength
enough left to swim _to the other side_.”
FROG MORGAN.
Frog Morgan, a barrister of very diminutive size, before he was much
known at the bar, had commenced an argument, when Lord Mansfield, not
aware of his stature, called upon him repeatedly to get up, conceiving
that he was not addressing the court standing. “My lord, I am up,”
screamed out the little man; “and I have been up these ten minutes.”
SERGEANT PRINCE.
Sergeant Prince, a contemporary of Murphy, the translator of Tacitus,
has described that gentleman as the most lengthy and soporific speaker
of his time. Bar, Bench, jurors, attorneys--nay, even the javelin-men,
nodded under their somnolescent influence. A counsel getting up to
reply to him, began, “Gentlemen, the long speech of the learned
sergeant----” “I beg your pardon, sir,” interrupted Mr. Justice Nares,
“you might say the long soliloquy of the learned sergeant, for my
brother Prince has been talking an hour to himself.”
UNATTACKABLE.
An officer was defending himself before Sir Sydney Smith for not having
attacked a certain post, because he had considered it _unattackable_.
“Sir,” said the gallant chief, “that word is not in English.”
BIBLICAL COMMENT.
At the commencement of the French revolutionary war, an honest farmer,
who read his Bible every Sunday, went to his rector, and asked him
whether he did not think that the contest would go very hard with the
French? The rector replied, that, if pleased God, he hoped it would.
“Nay,” said the farmer, “I am sure it will then; for it is said by the
prophet Ezekiel, chap. xxxv. verse 1, ‘Son of man, set thy face against
_Mount Sier_;’ now, my wife, who is a better scholar than I am, says
this can be nothing but _Mounseer_, the Frenchman; and in almost the
next verse it is still stronger, for there the prophet adds, ‘O, _Mount
Sier_, I am against thee and I will make thee most desolate.’”
DANGER OF DOING HOMAGE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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