“Shall I cut this loin of mutton saddlewise?” said a gentleman carving. “No,” said his friend, cut it bridlewise, for then we may all chance to get a _bit_ in our mouths. A BLACK JOKE. A negro passing along Fleet Street, was astonished at hearing a voice call out, “How d’ye do, Massa Mungo; How d’ye do, Snowball?” and, on looking up, observed it proceeded from a parrot in a splendid gilt cage. “Aha, Massa parrot,” said Blackee, “you great man here, you live in gold house now; but me know your fader very well, he live in bush.” AN ILLEGAL SOLICITOR. An attorney being much molested by a fellow importuning him to bestow something, threatened to have him taken up as a common beggar. “A beggar!” exclaimed the man, “I would have you know I am of the same profession as yourself; are we not both solicitors?” “That may be, friend; yet there is this difference--you are not a legal one, which I am.” NO STRANGER OF ME. A parson who had a scolding wife, one day brought home a brother clergyman for dinner. Having gone into a separate apartment to talk to his spouse about the repast, she attacked and abused him for bringing a parcel of idle fellows to eat up their income. The parson, provoked at her behaviour, said, in a pretty loud tone, “If it were not for the stranger, I would give you a good drubbing.” “Oh!” cried the visitor, “I beg you will make no stranger of me.” NIMROD AND RAMROD. A gentleman, who thought his sons consumed too much time in hunting and shooting, gave them the appellation of _Nimrod_ and _Ramrod_. THROW PHYSIC TO THE DOGS. When the celebrated Beau Nash was ill, Dr. Cheyne wrote a prescription for him. The next day, the doctor coming to see his patient, inquired if he had followed his prescription. “No, truly, doctor,” said Nash; “if I had, I should have broken my neck, for I threw it out of a two-pair of stairs window.” LUDICROUS THREAT. A very young officer, striking an old grenadier of his company for some supposed fault in performing his evolutions, was unable to reach any higher than his legs. The grenadier, upon this infantine assault, gravely took off his cap, and holding it over the officer by the tip, said, “Sir, if you were not my officer, I would _extinguish_ you.” SMALL CAPITAL. Tom Brown having once asked a man how he contrived to live in these hard times? was answered, “Why” Master Brown, “I live, as I believe you do, _by my wits_.” “Truly,” replied Tom, “you must be a much more able trader than I ever thought you, to carry on business, and live upon so _small a capital_.” GOODNESS OF GEORGE I.