These words astounded him, and he stared in her face like a block of marble; the widow, as suspicionless as himself of the hoax, could not interpret his wonder; but, on receiving the habiliments, folded them carefully up, and remarking that they were as good as new (her husband having caught his fatal cold in them the first time he put them on), begged Prigmore’s acceptance of the same. “And was it for this you wanted me, madam?” exclaimed Prigmore, rising from his chair; his tone and countenance bespeaking a mixture of surprise and disappointment. “Yes, sir.” He put on his hat, and walked to the door in silent indignation. The good woman, as much astonished as himself, followed him and said, “Won’t you take the breeches, sir?” “No, madam,” he replied, pausing at the door to make some bitter remark; “Wear them yourself!” For the remainder of the season, his life was far from being enviable.[G] CANDOUR. Lord Lyttelton asked of a clergyman in the country the use of his pulpit for a young man he had brought down with him. “I really know not,” said the parson, “how to refuse your lordship; yet, if the young gentleman preach better than me, my congregation will be dissatisfied with me afterwards; and if he preach worse, I don’t think he is fit to preach at all.” REWARD OF POLYGAMY. A man having been accused of marrying five wives, was committed to prison; and being asked by the judge on his trial, how he came to take so many wives, he replied, “In order, if possible, to find one good one, and then stick to her.” “Oh! oh!” said the judge, “as you cannot find a good wife in this world, you may probably succeed better in the next; so get you gone thither;” and immediately signed the warrant for his execution. COATS AND ARMS. A gentleman having called a ticket porter to carry a message, asked his name; he said it was Russel. “And pray,” said the gentleman, jocularly, “is your coat of arms the same as the Duke of Bedford’s?” “As to our _arms_, your honour,” says the porter, “I believe they are much alike; but there is a great difference between our _coats_.” LORD HOWE. When Lord Howe was captain of the _Magnanime_, a negro sailor on board was ordered to be flogged. Every thing being prepared, and the ship’s company assembled to see the punishment inflicted, Captain Howe made a long address to the culprit on the enormity of his offence. Poor Mungo, tired of the harangue and of having his back exposed to the cold, exclaimed, “Massa, if you floggee, floggee; or, if you preachee, preachee; but no preachee and floggee too.” DR. EGERTON. Dr. Egerton, bishop of Durham, on coming to that see, employed a person of the name of Due as his agent to find out the true value of the estates held by lease under him, and, in consequence of Due’s report, greatly raised both the fines and rents of the tenants; on which the following toast was frequently drunk in the bishopric:--“May the _Lord_ take the _Bishop_, and the _Devil_ have his _Due_!”