Sir Charles Wager had a sovereign contempt for physicians; though a surgeon, he believed, in some cases might be of service. It happened that the worthy knight was seized with a fever while he was out upon a cruise, and the surgeon, without much difficulty, prevailed upon him to loose a little blood and suffer a blister to be laid on his back; by and by it was thought necessary to lay on another blister and repeat the bleeding, to which Sir Charles also consented. The symptoms having abated, the surgeon then told him that he must now swallow a few boluses and take a draught. “No, doctor,” said Sir Charles, “you may batter my hulk as long as you will, but damn you, you shan’t board me!” EPITAPH ON PROFESSOR BARNES, A MAN OF WEAK JUDGMENT, BUT HAPPY MEMORY. Hic jacet Joshua Barnes, Beatæ memoriæ, judicium expectans. INSURANCE. In a storm at sea when the sailors were all at prayers expecting every moment to go to the bottom, a passenger appeared quite unconcerned. The captain asked him how he could be so much at his ease in this awful situation. “Sir,” says the passenger, “my life’s insured.” COLONEL THORNTON. When Colonel Thornton once asked his coachman if he had any objection to go abroad with him? “To any place that ever was created,” said the fellow very eagerly. “Would you drive me to hell?” said the colonel. “That I would!” answered the fellow, “that I would!” “Why, you would find it a hot birth and you must go in first yourself, Tom, as the box is before the body of the coach.” “No, no; I would back your honour in.” BOSWELL AND JOHNSON. Boswell observing to Johnson that there was no instance of a beggar dying for want in the streets of Scotland, “I believe, sir, you are very right,” says Johnson; “but this does not arise from the want of beggars, but the impossibility of starving a Scotsman.” CONJUROR AND NO CONJUROR. A fellow, who went about the country playing slight of hand tricks, was apprehended and carried before the sapient mayor of a town, who immediately ordered him to be committed to prison. “For what?” said the fellow. “Why, sirrah, the people say you are a conjuror!” “Will your worship give me leave to tell you what the people say of you?” “Of me? what dare they say of me, fellow?” “They say you are no conjuror.” BENEVOLENCE OF GEORGE III.