And that forbade a selfish death.[118] 230 IX What next befell me then and there I know not well--I never knew-- First came the loss of light, and air, And then of darkness too: I had no thought, no feeling--none-- 235 Among the stones I stood a stone, And was, scarce conscious what I wist,[119] As shrubless crags within the mist; For all was blank, and bleak, and gray, It was not night--it was not day, 240 It was not even the dungeon-light, So hateful to my heavy sight, But vacancy absorbing space, And fixedness--without a place; There were no stars--no earth--no time-- 245 No check--no change--no good--no crime-- But silence, and a stirless breath Which neither was of life nor death; A sea of stagnant idleness, Blind, boundless, mute, and motionless! 250 X A light broke in upon my brain,-- It was the carol of a bird; It ceased, and then it came again, The sweetest song ear ever heard, And mine was thankful till my eyes 255 Ran over with the glad surprise, And they that moment could not see I was the mate of misery; But then by dull degrees came back My senses to their wonted track, 260 I saw the dungeon walls and floor Close slowly round me as before, I saw the glimmer of the sun Creeping as it before had done, But through the crevice where it came 265 That bird was perched, as fond and tame, And tamer than upon the tree; A lovely bird, with azure wings, And song that said a thousand things, And seemed to say them all for me! 270 I never saw its like before, I ne'er shall see its likeness more: It seemed like me to want a mate, But was not half so desolate, And it was come to love me when 275 None lived to love me so again, And cheering from my dungeon's brink, Had brought me back to feel and think. I know not if it late were free, Or broke its cage to perch on mine, 280 But knowing well captivity, Sweet bird! I could not wish for thine! Or if it were, in wingèd guise, A visitant from Paradise; For--Heaven forgive that thought! the while 285 Which made me both to weep and smile; I sometimes deemed that it might be My brother's soul[120] come down to me; But then at last away it flew, And then 'twas mortal--well I knew, 290 For he would never thus have flown, And left me twice so doubly lone,-- Lone--as the corse within its shroud, Lone--as a solitary cloud,[121]