Authors, English -- 20th century -- Biography; Blackwood, Algernon, 1869-1951
The evening passed pleasantly. We went on to Koster and Biel’s music
hall, and after that, to supper in some Tenderloin joint or other. And
it was here I first noticed a change in our host. Something about him
was different. His behaviour was not what was normal to him. His face
was pale, his manner nervous and excited; though there was no drink in
him to account for it, he was overwrought, unusually voluble, unable to
keep still for a single moment. I had never seen him like this before,
and the strangeness of his behaviour arrested me. Once or twice, _à
propos_ of nothing, he referred to the money he had spent on his
apartment; and more than once in asides to me, he spoke of the value of
his rugs and curtains, engaging my endorsement, as it were. The other
men, who knew him less intimately, probably noticed nothing, or, if
they did, attributed it to the excitement of alcohol.... But it made me
more and more uneasy. I didn’t like it; I watched him attentively. I
came to the strange conclusion, long before the evening was over, that
he was frightened. And when he met suggestions that it was time for bed
with obstinate refusals, anxious and nervous at the same time, I knew
that he was more than frightened, he was terrified.
Once when I asked him whether he felt unwell, there was startled terror
in his cunning eyes as he whispered: “I dreamed of rats last night.
Something bad will be coming.” His face was white as chalk. To dream
of rats, with him, always meant an enemy in the offing; a dozen times
he had given me instances of this strange superstition; to dream of an
acquaintance in connexion with these unpleasant rodents meant that
this particular acquaintance was false, an enemy, someone who meant him
harm. I, therefore, understood the allusion in his mind, but this time,
for some reason, I did not believe it. He was lying. The terror of a
guilty conscience was in those startled eyes and in that sheet-white
skin. I felt still more uneasy. I was glad I had put my resignation
from the “beezness” in writing. There was trouble coming in connexion
with that recipe, and Brodie already knew it.
It was after two in the morning when we reached home. My rooms were a
couple of streets before his own, but he begged me to see him to his
door. His nervous state had grown, meanwhile, worse and worse; his legs
failed him several times, seeming to sink under his weight; he took my
arm; more than once he reeled. There was something about it all, about
himself particularly, that made my skin crawl. The awful feeling that
I, too, was to be involved increased in me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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