“Gleska! Some day when I’m in the key for’t I’ll mak’ a song aboot her. Here the triumphs o’ civilisation meet ye at the stair-fit, and three bawbee mornin’ rolls can be had efter six o’clock at nicht for a penny. “There’s libraries scattered a’ ower the place; I ken, for I’ve seen them often, and the brass plate at the door tellin’ ye whit they are. “Art’s a’ the go in Gleska, too; there’s something aboot it every ither nicht in the papers, when Lord Somebody-or-ither’s no’ divorcin’ his wife, and takin’ up the space; and I hear there’s hunders o’ pictures oot in yon place at Kelvin-grove. “Theatres, concerts, balls, swarees, lectures--ony mortal thing ye like that’ll keep ye oot o’ your bed, ye’ll get in Gleska if ye have the money to pay for’t.” “It’s true, Erchie.” “Whit’s true?” said the old man, wrapping the paper more carefully round his flower-pot. “Man, I’m only coddin’. Toon or country, it doesna muckle maitter if, like me, ye stay in yer ain hoose. I don’t stay in Gleska; not me! it’s only the place I mak’ my money in; I stay wi’ Jinnet.” IX ERCHIE ON THE KING’S CRUISE |I deliberately sought out Erchie one day in order to elicit his views upon the Royal progress through the Western Isles, and found him full of the subject, with the happiest disposition to eloquence thereon. “Man! I’m that gled I’m to the fore to see this prood day for Scotland,” said he. “I’m daein’ hardly onything but read the mornin’ and evenin’ papers, and if the Royal yacht comes up the length o’ Yoker I’m gaun doon mysel’ to wave a hanky. ‘His Majesty in Arran. Great Reception,’ says they. ‘His Majesty in Glorious Health. Waves his hand to a Wee Lassie, and Nearly Shoots a Deer,’ says they. ‘His Majesty’s Yacht Surrounded by the Natives. Escape round the Mull. Vexation of Campbeltown, and Vote of Censure by the Golfers of Machrihanish,’ says they. Then the telegrams frae ‘Oor Special Correspondent’: ‘Oban, i p.m.--It is confidently expected that the Royal yacht will come into the bay this evenin’ in time for tea. The esplanade is being washed with eau-de-Cologne, and a’ the magistrates is up at Rankine’s barber shop gettin’ a dry shampoo.’ ‘Oban, 1.30 p.m.--A wire frae Colons says the Royal yacht is about to set sail for Oban. Tremendous excitement prevails here, and the price o’ hotel bedrooms is raised 200 per cent. It is decided to mobilise the local Boys’ Brigade, and engage Johnny M’Coll to play the pipes afore the King when he’s comin’ ashore.’ ‘6 p.m.--The Royal yacht has just passed Kerrara, and it is now certain that Oban will not be visited by the Royal party. All the flags have been taken down, and scathing comments on the extraordinary affair are anticipated from the local press.’ “Maybe ye wadna think it, but his Majesty’s gaun roond the West Coast for the sake o’ his health. “‘Ye’ll hae to tak’ a month o’ the rest cure,’ the doctors tellt him, ‘a drap o’ claret wine to dinner, and nae worry aboot business.’