“That’s the droll thing aboot this trip o’ his Majesty’s; it’s no’ ony nice, cheery sort o’ places he gangs to at a’, but oot-o’-the-wye wee places wi’ naethin’ aboot them but hills and things--wee trashy places wi’ nae nice braw new villas aboot them, and nae minstrels or banjo-singers on the esplanade singin’ ‘O! Lucky Jim!’ and clautin’ on the bawbees. I divna suppose they had half a dizzen flags in a’ Colonsay, and ye wad fancy the King’s een’s no’ that sair lookin’ at flags but whit he wad be pleased to see mair o’ them. “Colonsay! Man, it’s fair peetifu’! No’ a Provost or a Bylie in’t to hear a bit speech frae; nae steamboat trips to gang roond the Royal yacht and keek in the port-holes; but everything as quate as a kirk on a Setturday mornin’. “A’ the rest o’ Scotland wanted to wag flags at his Majesty Edward VII., and here he maun put up at Colonsay! The thing was awfu’ badly managed. “If Campbeltoon was chawed at the yacht passin’ withoot giein’ a cry in, whit’s to describe the vexation o’ Oban? “Oban had its hert set on’t. It never occurred to the mind o’ Oban for wan meenute that the King could pass the ‘Charin’ Cross o’ the Hielan’s’ withoot spendin’ a week there at the very least, and everything was arranged to mak’ the Royal convalescent comfortable. “The bay was fair jammed wi’ yachts, and a’ the steam-whustles were oiled. The hotels were packed to the roof wi’ English tourists, some o’ them sleepin’ under the slates, wi’ their feet in the cisterns, and gled to pay gey dear for the preevilege o’ breathin’ the same air as Edward VII. “Early in the day somebody sent the alarmin’ tidin’s frae Colonsay that the _Victoria and Albert_ micht pass Oban efter a’, and to prevent this, herrin’-nets were stretched aff Kerrara to catch her if ony such dastardly move was made. “But it was nae use; Oban’s in sackcloth and ashes. “‘Where are we noo?’ asked the Royal voyager, aff Kerrara. ‘Is this Shingleton-on-the-Sea?’ “‘No, your Majesty,’ says the skipper of the Royal yacht, ‘it’s Oban, the place whaur the German waiters get their education.’ “‘Heavens!’ cried his Majesty, shudderin’; ‘we’re terrible close; put a fire under the aft funnel at a’ costs and get past as quick as we can.’ “It was pointed oot to his Majesty that the toon was evidently expectin’ him, and so, to mak’ things pleasant, he ordered the steam pinnace to land the week’s washin’ at the Charin’. Cross o’ the Hielan’s--while the _Victoria and Albert_ went on her way to Ballachulish.” X HOW JINNET SAW THE KING “I saw him and her on Thursday,” said Erchie, “as nate’s ye like, and it didna cost me mair nor havin’ my hair cut. They gaed past oor kirk, and the session put up a stand, and chairges ten shillin’s a sate. “‘Not for Joe,’ says I; ‘I’d sooner buy mysel’ a new pair o’ boots;’ and I went to Duffy and says I, ‘Duffy, are ye no’ gaun to hae oot yer bonny wee lorry at the heid o’ Gairbraid Street and ask the wife and Jinnet and me to stand on’t?’