“‘I’m no’ a Clachnacudden native,’ says I till him. ‘If it was a reunion
o’ the natives o’ Gorbals and district, it micht be a’ richt, for that’s
the place I belang to; and if a’ the auld natives cam’ to a Gorbals
swaree I micht get some o’ the money some o’ them’s owin’ me. But
Clachnacudden!--I never saw the place; I aye thocht it was jist yin o’
thae comic names they put on the labels o’ the whisky bottles to mak’
them look fancy.’
“Ye’ll no’ believ’t, but Macrae, bein’ Hielan’ and no’ haein richt
English, was that angry for me sayin’ that aboot Clachnacudden, that he
was nearly breakin’ the engagement wi’ Jinnet’s niece, and I had to tak’
the tickets at the hinder-end jist for peace’ sake. Jinnet said it was
a bonny-like thing spilin’ Sarah’s chances for the sake o’ a shillin’ or
twa.
“So that’s the wye I was wi’ the Clachnacudden chats. Dae ye no’ feel
the smell o’ peat-reek aff me? If it wasna that my feet were flet I
could gie ye the Hielan’ Fling.
“But thae natives’ reunions in Gleska’s no’ whit they used to be.
They’re gettin’ far ower genteel. It’ll soon be comin’ to’t that ye’ll
no’ can gang to ony o’ them unless ye have a gold watch and chain, a
dress suit, and £10 in the Savin’s Bank. It used to be in the auld days
when I went to natives’ gatherin’s for fun, and no’ to please the
nicht polis, that they were ca’d a swaree and ball, and the ticket was
four-and-six for yoursel’ and your pairtner. If ye didna get the worth
o’ your money there was something wrang wi’ your stomach, or ye werena
very smert. Mony a yin I’ve bin at, either in the wye o’ tred, or
because some o’ Jinnet’s Hielan’ kizzens cam’ up to the hoose in their
kilts to sell us tickets. There was nae dress suits nor fal-lals aboot a
reunion in thae days; ye jist put on your Sunday claes and some scent on
your hanky, wi’ a dram in your pocket (if ye werena in the committee),
turned up the feet o’ your breeks, and walked doon to the hall in the
extra-wide welt shoes ye were gaun to dance in. Your lass--or your wife,
if it was your wife--sat up the nicht before, washin’ her white shawl
and sewin’ frillin’ on the neck o’ her guid frock, and a’ the expense
ye had wi’ her if ye werena merried to her was that ye had to buy her a
pair o’ white shammy leather gloves, size seeven.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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